There is a hurricane coming! Meteorologist is in high gear on TV, and they are soooo excited! People all around are at the stores buying up all the water and supplies. Well, I can really freak out or not. First of all, they have no clue what direction it is going. I am watching all the people panic. Many Floridians already know this. Some still panic.
I check to see if I had batteries and all the things you need for the go-bag. I got food. I filled the water bottles. Which I have not developed the list yet. It is Thursday, It is not coming until Monday and that is if it hits here. Well ran out of batteries, ordered from Amazon, here by tomorrow. The task is done.
Worry makes us old! There are so many times we waste so much time with unnecessary anxiety. Don’t get me wrong, I lived through 2 horrifying experiences in 2004 with 10 each without electric. Not to mention the level 5 coming at us 5 years ago that didn’t hit our area that bad. I don’t want to go through this again. Yes, I am nervous. But we have time. I have the stuff in the house.
It is not hitting to Sunday, Monday or maybe Tuesday. So how many days are we going to put our body into turmoil? We do this to ourselves, not just through hurricanes. Anxiety is so harmful to us. We don’t need a pill. We can do this! It is important at this time to stop and pause, pace yourself, take a few deep breaths. Make your list. You just might be surprised that you already have most of the items and your go-to bag is full. If the hurricane doesn’t even come your way. You put yourself through an unnecessary unliving hell for nothing. Now Breathe!
“If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.”
The 5 phases of grief do not come to you in any specific order. Just because you went through the phase it doesn’t mean that you will not be hit with it again. There is a different aspect of the anger that you haven’t addressed.
There are different types of losses. You may be going through the loss of a special person, but however, there are losses that occur that you don’t realize that require processing just as much a loss of a loved one. There is a loss of a home, Job, finance, friend who moved away or a relationship that didn’t work. A divorce. The key does not disregard these losses as something you don’t have to process. Loss is a loss.
Once you have acknowledged what it is that you are going through. You can take a deep breath, don’t beat yourself up about it and carry on.
You get to a point in you life when you can not escape the experiences of grief. The experiences are different, pending on the relation to you. Whether it is our parents, spouse, or children the pain of grief is immobolizing. I’ve experienced all three, even though the spouse was an ex. Still felt bad, because he gave me two beautiful boys. So I can honestly say I can speak to this subject.
The biggest question is how long should you grieve? The answer is: It is my journey, and when it takes as long as it takes. There are the 5 stages, by Kubler-Ross. I included them in a previous post. You will move on and there are several ways to help you. That is what motivated me to create this blog. You will heal. But there is, and always will be a hole in your heart where your relation(s) was.
Even if you expect a loss, you never are ready for it. The idea sends you into shell shock, your numb and you walk around like you are in a constant fog. This doesn’t have to happen. But it does, more often than not. As time goes by, the fog starts to lift. This is the time you need to start taking your own initiative to do things. Be creative, write in journal, read…so many options.
There will be moments when something sets you off, but You get back on track, but it is only 2 steps back not 10. Acknowledge what you have done, be proud and know you will make it through.
This isn’t the easiest topic. But I feel that by helping you understand my journey, it might also help you understand you are not alone, not just you. Most important you will be ok.
Please comment or you are welcome to leave a message to contact you if you need someone to talk to.
“If you do what you always did, you will get what you always got.” —Anonymous
It has been a rainy day, and I found there was not much I felt like doing, so I reflected on my life and the challenges I had to face. I look at my resume and see my accomplishments and was amazed at what I really did do. I look at pictures and think of the relationships. Saw how I grew as time passed. Saw how the kids grow and their amazing tributes they offered this planet. Proud Momma.
Take this time to reflect and write out your accomplishments. Then on a rainy day. Take them out and read them. Smile to yourself, and say. I’m Strong. I can accomplish anything I want to do. Because look what I have already done! Be proud of you! Even on rainy days!
Fear can freeze you in place! Today I drove my car for first time in 4 years. I looked up at the book case this morning and saw the book pop out at me. Feel the Fear, and Do It Anyway. I didnt read book yet, but for today You don’t even need to read the book to figure out what one needs to do.
I chanted my little “Everything will be ok”, and it was. Everyone has their own fears, some many. I invite you to challenge yourself and share what you accomplished.