Posted in Uncategorized

If it is going to be, it is up to me!

So many people doubted that I would ever have done half of what I have proven that I could do. When they got done with their judgment of me, I would continue on my own downward spiral of self-pity. Even though On the outside, I would be strong. Then I realized how many would still be in bed after the events that I have endured. There haven’t been too many types of trauma that have not found its way to challenge me. Always end up on my two feet.

The first day of the year I was faced with the news of my son’s passing. I made a decision at that moment that I was going to choose to live. I spent 6 years stuffing my grief and sorrows with food. I don’t drink or drug. I started taking care of myself but like so many other times I have put a roadblock up. Many times it is not me. It is people or circumstances.

Death of a child is not insignificant by any means. But the choice to self-sabotage is. All these issues become overwhelming and trying to be strong. I stuff my feelings. Every time, there is an excuse and I’m the one who pays dearly. Before my son got sick this year at end of November. I made a decision that I had to forgive myself for all that happened around my first son’s death. Somethings were just out of my control. His Angel date is on the 5th of December. I didn’t want to be sad anymore and wanted to celebrate his life. I wanted to enjoy the holidays this year.

No sooner did I make this statement when I heard my second son took ill. I forgot all the promises I made to myself and my sugar numbers went off the charts. My younger son did not want me to tell anyone about his illness. I felt I was all alone on this one. He didn’t answer phones. It wasn’t an easy time. It was stressful. This lasted a month of not taking care of me in spite of what was going on. I worked so hard on my food plan before this.

The day I had to fly up to see my son, I had plenty of time to talk to me. I decided that I was not going to spend a lot of years again grieving and sabotaging myself. I was going to live. When I got up to Connecticut, I walked more during that time and at the cemetery and walking up and down steps, it became the beginning of my exercise program. I actually felt better. I didn’t eat the hoards of food that was sent to the house.

This past month I had my moments that I was sad. I know that God/Spirit has my boys and they are in good hands, out of pain and full of love. They want me to be happy and healthy. They must have served their purpose. I was in my own way. I know I am not alone on this journey. This is why I’m writing this. I am living for me. When I have a difficult time doing it for me I will do it for the kids. Regardless, If I am going to heal it is up to me and nobody else.

I have actually felt a shift in how I feel and act. I am finding I am not as quick to go off my food plan. I’m exercising. Even if it is a little bit. My heart is light instead of heavy. I talk to the kids all the time. I know they are around and intuitively, I feel them around. I know it is my turn and I have a lot of work to do.

Besides all my books, I have 25 years of journals that I have written. I have started looking at all the messages that I have received when I have channeled. This is only the beginning for me. This is my first time having a blog. But this is helping me. I intend as time goes on I will be there for you too. Hugs from me!

Posted in Energy Healing, Uncategorized, Wisdom

All is one!

You are no different than I. I may believe in one thing, you another. But there is only one source, creator. I choose to look at what unites us, not separates.

I have learned different types of thoughts and philosophies along the way in my journey. What I found is that the languaging is what separates us. So many instances we are saying the same things. But because I may not say it the same way that you do, doesn’t mean that I’m coming from an evil source, or am not from the light.

I am a healer. I am a Reiki Healer. I only work with the highest and best purpose. I have been trained in other forms of healing and techniques. All works in unison.

Right now I am working at getting myself back on the mends. Losing two children to illness is not an easy task to crawl out of. I am. I feel the calling to get back to healing. When I know I will let you know.

Posted in Uncategorized, Wisdom

Wisdom?!?

A few years ago, I was asked what was I going to do with all my books and articles, papers, computer files that I have saved all these years. What was I going to do with them if I wasn’t using them? Yes, I was mad at first but they were not wrong. They were only collecting dust on the shelves and hogging several gigs on my computer. I also said to myself that I have studied all these books. I have saved all these interesting articles. But I also enjoy sharing my knowledge with others. I love when someone has a question and I know just know what book or article to find it in. Brings me joy.