Over the years I’ve saved several sayings that I have liked from various places and Facebook shares. They spike a thought and possibly creativity within me. I’ve been busy in my office trying to make sense of all the wonderful supplies I have! I am grateful for all that I have but now. I am working on organizing. I need to be in somewhat of order before I can create.
I went out and got myself some art supplies and jewelry supplies so I can enjoy both my creative talents. It is a good sign that I am feeling a pull to create. It has been a while and to my followers, I apologize. I’ve been frozen in place from grief. Couldn’t get off the couch.
I did finally get myself into the pool in our community and get my body moving… That felt so good and now want to get my mind working It goes in and out grief hits you at different times. I stay frozen (that is what I call it) less and less. This is good.
Tomorrow which is Memorial Day, I am celebrating my son’s 31 Birthday. First birthday since he went to heaven. I’m working on pulling myself together here so I don’t focus on sadness. I’m getting excited to dive into my jewelry beads and let them sing to me and see what I can come up with. I was on my design table last week and drew a blank. I know something is in there. I’m taking action and responsibility. I know I’ll have some sad days. Each time I get back to myself faster and faster.
I have stood on the shoulders of giants, as I have learned through the years. My main interest for years is finding books, articles, and websites that would help me find ways In which I can heal myself. We hold such power to do that. Much is right at our fingertips! Our fingers are jumper cables and we can balance our bodies all by ourselves. There are so many modalities. This is a good place to start.
As I find interesting information that I feel that would work. I am happy to pass it on to you. I am not necessarily trying to promote one modality or another. This is how I found things to work for me. If you like the websites, enjoy!
The first link is Jin Shin Jitsu, Inc. The main purpose of this method is self-healing. She has many books which I purchased if you want to pursue this for yourself.
I have so many things on my list to do. My ADD kicked in and my brain went into a whirlwind. I finally found my way into the office and started working on paperwork. Getting organized and created some forms for my personal accounting. I had to remember to punch a 3 hole in the forms. You know they would get put back into the paper file and be rendered useless. Well, this is a start!
I had an appointment today and was asked how many children do I have. At first, I said, not sure how to answer this. She gave me a strange look. I choked up, a little bit of tears. Then sat up straight and said …, Yes, I have two in heaven!
To hear those words come out of my mouth made it really real! At that moment, there was a shift in energy. I had a choice, do I fall apart, or do I pull up my big girl panties and stand strong. All my life I fought to stay strong in the face of adversary. Today, was one more day I chose strong once again.
“In the Lakota/Sioux tradition, a person who is grieving is considered most waken, most holy. There’s a sense that when someone is struck by the sudden lightning of loss, he or she stands on the threshold of the spirit world. The prayers of those who grieve are considered especially strong, and it is proper to ask them for their help. You might recall what it’s like to be with someone who has grieved deeply. The person has no layer of protection, nothing left to defend. The mystery is looking out through that person’s eyes. For the time being, he or she has accepted the reality of loss and has stopped clinging to the past or grasping at the future. In the groundless openness of sorrow, there is a wholeness of presence and a deep natural wisdom.”
I’m only 2 months in from my loss from my younger son Allen. I do ok. I have my moments but I’m functioning. I am doing well with my sugar numbers, even though I had a perfectly good reason to go haywire.
But then came another blow. My dear friend of over 20 years, took ill in hospital and I lost her yesterday. She does not live near me. I was blessed to be able to say goodbye to her. Her daughter put the phone up to her ear. Even though we did not live near. We were on the phone daily chatting. To me, that was a visit. We helped each other through the toughest of time. Yes, she was there for me when both my sons passed. We were there for each other at times for celebration too.
My heart is so heavy right now. I feel that grief is trauma. When you have to deal with so much of it…it takes a toll on you. This is the second friend within a year that has passed from kidney failure. What this is showing me, is that I need to stay diligent with my food plan and avoid the sugars. Take care of myself. This goes back to why I even started this blog. I want to live.
There is not a source of not Well-being. There is not a source of sickness. There is just the disallowance of wellness. In every particle of the Universe there is that which is wanted and lack of it. — Abraham