It has been a rough week. My life partner has been admitted with both some heart and kidney failure. It has been very trying for me. Dealing with hospitals alone can send you in a whirlwind. It has been less than a year since my son died so all this stuff is fresh in my brain. I will trust he will be fine.
Since all this has happened, I had to get up and move around more, walk more, do more. Break through fears. It was rough the first couple of days. But now that it has been a week, it felt good to walk, it feels good to get up and to do things. I’m choosing to eat healthier. Key is why do I need a horrible event to get me moving. I am not alone on this, that I know.
Sometimes when we are faced with something like this. We have to look in the mirror and say. Hey what is it about me that I don’t like with this situation. I am in no position to call the kettle black, I can be mad at him if I am not caring for myself. Wake up time!!!!!
This life… is your movie, You have choices to make for you and for no one else. Like the above meme states we have to accept the consequences for every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime. Taking responsibility is not always easy. But it is very healing. Because you get to see how much power you really do have within yourself. You can choose to have a roll on how it plays out for you.
Someone I know, gave me some bad news that they thought could happen if things don’t change and I don’t take action. So my thinking started to go on a whirlwind downhill. I’ve been upset and miserable because of this for several days. Then I realized that is my story not anyone elses. I awakened with the feeling that I can change this. So I kept repeating my favorite saying. Everything will be ok. I kept doing this and realized that the energy shifted. I was not miserable. We were joking and things started to look uplifting around me. I felt good things are coming my way.
When we get flustered, we tend to seek outside of ourselves to see what someone else may have to offer on the topic. But ultimately it is up to us. We take what we need and leave the rest. Ultimately the choice is ours and how we react or act. Sometimes we are dealt some really rough issues. Sometimes too many at once. However, this is the time to take to go within and meditate. Take a deep breath, and see what advice spirit has in store for you. You might be surprised. If you are headed down a path that starts to appear just not right…turn around and run.
Years ago I was told by an elder that I was a very strong person. During these times when I feel like I’m drowning, I tend to reach up to a sinking ship, wondering why they can’t save me. In many instances, I’ve been the one pulling them up by the boot straps anyway! This is the time that I need to pull up my big girl pants and walk to shore. Because I am actually in shallow water all that time. I can count on me like I always have and get on with life.
Note: Rely on yourself and your own creator every time you are confronted with a path that was not meant for you.
Back on the 6th of September, I had celebrated my life on this earth for 67 years. I never hid the number from anyone. As time has passed, I learned many lessons. I noticed that some really are not repeating anymore. I celebrated those. I have hit the existing ones head on.
As I grow older I matured. my mind didn’t feel old, but my body reminded me. My body took the brunt end of my emotions through those lessons. The lesson that took the hardest hit at me was the loss of my two children. Wondering why I’m here and the two boys left at such an early age. My friend told me that my eyes looked vacant yestersday. This bothered me. Because I saw it in the photo myself.
Why me? That wasn’t the question. The creator doesn’t want a pity party! I took that lesson to task and asked the creator on the Harvest Moon. A time when the vail between the worlds is thin. I trust the creator, but doesn’t mean I have to like the answer. I try to understand it. The answer was that I fulfilled my purpose as a parent into ascending their spirtual growth to their perspective levels in the upper dimensions. They did their part in my lessons into ascending to my level of spirituality on earth. As I mature I may not have done so if they were not in my life to test me. This was an agreement on the other side between us. They were my teachers there and on earth.
Trying to understand this thought I remembered reading a meme a few months ago about how when you lose a child, that you are at a very high spiritual level at this point in time and closest to the creator. The grief is so gut wrenching that you have nothing left to lose. This also means that the greatest and strongest power is within us to create. To have endless flows of energy. But i couldn’t see it at the time. As the fog and shell shock of grief starts to wear off, you start to create , write, draw, design, stitch fheal and many other wonderful things. I’m finding a sense of peace that knowing my children are in good hands and they are serving their purpose. I know they are around me all the time.
Now it is my turnto pay attention to the path and the direction I am going. I am free to do this now. Just have to give myself the permissionto do so. I saw after I got that message last night that I have some marching orders. I was set free, thekids are ok. Doesn’t mean I’ll ever not miss them, I certainly love them. It means that it is out of my hands. It is my turn to be healed and then to heal.To heal through my arts and through my gift of healing. My soul has been hungry for a long time. Grief has taken a good part of the past 7 years of my life between my two beautiful sons. Time to feed her and not my body.
Many people have not comprehended the impact of the word. We have a choice. We create our own reality? We can either bless ourselves, or curse ourselves. This can be very empowering to us. Most of us are inherently good people. We want good experiences for ourselves. Positive outcomes can simply show up for ourselves by being conscious about what comes out of our mouths.
The spoken word is energy. Many of set our ourselves up for failure, then wonder what hit us. By using the words I can’t, shouldn’t, won’t, these are just a few.
We all have an opportunity to use the creative word energy to impact our lives. We CAN manifest what ever we want. Catch ourselves as we spew negativity from our mouths. We all do this and it is so unnecessary. Changing it instantaneously, can change our mood and behavior just as fast.
I challenge you to try just for a week. I always encourage to journal. Feel free to comment. Would love to hear from you!
This post just showed up in my FB today. I loved it. It was encouraging and felt I wanted to share it with you. Have no idea who wrote it. But that is what I needed today. Just Keep going. Hope you are having a wonderful weekend. I’m working on it. Been raining for 3 weeks down in Florida.
“If you do what you always did, you will get what you always got.” —Anonymous
Over the past 45 years, I have learned so much. I didn’t limit myself and there was always something just waiting for me to absorb the information. I love to learn (not test). I stood on the shoulders of giants in the metaphysical and natural healing fields.
My first introduction to healing was with Louise Hay books. You Can Heal Your Life. Her principles are on cause and effect. That we create our own illness, but we can create our wellness too. I liked this concept and I adapted it to my own core principles throughout the rest of my life. Over the years, as I learned new tools, I found myself going back to these principles.
These learning tools are just the way I followed my path. Not saying this is the way you should. No one can tell you that you should do anything. This is what helped me. My favorite part of Louise Hay’s book is she had a chart in the back of her book. That listed the ailment and then the cause. And a positive affirmation with the intention of healing the concern.
After all these years what do I do with all this information? There are many giants in this industry that I studied and I learned from. I will be sharing them with you and you can enjoy your own learning journey. Share it with you!
I was sitting in my favorite chair as I was reading one book on energy. I felt I needed another, Just because it wasn’t giving me the answer I needed. Because I was being lazy, I looked online first to see if I can find something (you can always find a home for another book). I didn’t find what I wanted I needed. So I did get up and walked along the wall of books that I own and found just what I needed.
Before I found what I needed, I looked at all the names of the books as I scanned them. I realized how much fun it is that I have this library to just go to when I want. I’m like a little child and always in awe of them. They are my friends. As I scan them the right one will speak to me!
I sat down and the book I found was exactly what I needed. I was looking for QiGong Healing, This book said massage. But it was actually the same according to this book. I just got so engrossed in it and am going to add it to my healing knowledge toolbox.
I went down for a nap after I looked over the book. I was happy about what I found. I woke 2 hours after and jumped to the floor because I couldn’t wait to write. Yes, I love to write. This is how I know what my passion is. I never took the time to write a book. I’d write 10 to 12 pages, maybe more. Coming to this format and writing what I love to talk about and share, Makes me happy. Thank you for being there my friends.
As you come out of the fog from grief., your vision starts to become clearer? Back in 2008 when my first son found out about his brain cancer, I was going for my masters in Strategic Leadership and Personal Development. I was on my last semester, but couldn’t concentrate enough to finish.
That was 10 years and 2 children gone from my life. There is a piece of me that would love to finish. But I do not have the concentration level to deal with exams. But what I am doing in my mind as I do this blog, is finishing my degree. But helping others who have gone through what I have unfortunately had to endure.
Everything is not coming to me overnight. But I’m taking that good old slogan ” One Day at a Time”, and rediscovering myself. All will work out!