Over the years I’ve saved several sayings that I have liked from various places and Facebook shares. They spike a thought and possibly creativity within me. I’ve been busy in my office trying to make sense of all the wonderful supplies I have! I am grateful for all that I have but now. I am working on organizing. I need to be in somewhat of order before I can create.
I went out and got myself some art supplies and jewelry supplies so I can enjoy both my creative talents. It is a good sign that I am feeling a pull to create. It has been a while and to my followers, I apologize. I’ve been frozen in place from grief. Couldn’t get off the couch.
I did finally get myself into the pool in our community and get my body moving… That felt so good and now want to get my mind working It goes in and out grief hits you at different times. I stay frozen (that is what I call it) less and less. This is good.
Tomorrow which is Memorial Day, I am celebrating my son’s 31 Birthday. First birthday since he went to heaven. I’m working on pulling myself together here so I don’t focus on sadness. I’m getting excited to dive into my jewelry beads and let them sing to me and see what I can come up with. I was on my design table last week and drew a blank. I know something is in there. I’m taking action and responsibility. I know I’ll have some sad days. Each time I get back to myself faster and faster.
I have so many things on my list to do. My ADD kicked in and my brain went into a whirlwind. I finally found my way into the office and started working on paperwork. Getting organized and created some forms for my personal accounting. I had to remember to punch a 3 hole in the forms. You know they would get put back into the paper file and be rendered useless. Well, this is a start!
I had an appointment today and was asked how many children do I have. At first, I said, not sure how to answer this. She gave me a strange look. I choked up, a little bit of tears. Then sat up straight and said …, Yes, I have two in heaven!
To hear those words come out of my mouth made it really real! At that moment, there was a shift in energy. I had a choice, do I fall apart, or do I pull up my big girl panties and stand strong. All my life I fought to stay strong in the face of adversary. Today, was one more day I chose strong once again.
“In the Lakota/Sioux tradition, a person who is grieving is considered most waken, most holy. There’s a sense that when someone is struck by the sudden lightning of loss, he or she stands on the threshold of the spirit world. The prayers of those who grieve are considered especially strong, and it is proper to ask them for their help. You might recall what it’s like to be with someone who has grieved deeply. The person has no layer of protection, nothing left to defend. The mystery is looking out through that person’s eyes. For the time being, he or she has accepted the reality of loss and has stopped clinging to the past or grasping at the future. In the groundless openness of sorrow, there is a wholeness of presence and a deep natural wisdom.”
Mercury goes into retrograde next Tues, March 6. Since my sun sign is ruled by Mercury, sun sign too!. I have to play closer attention. I can sit and feel sad, which I have. I have a right. But need to take action. I have plans. I have not hit my design table for quite a while. Before my son passed anyway.
I spent a day over the weekend going through several articles and topics of information that I have saved over several decades. I have not worked with much of my healing toolbox. I feel a strong pull. That is why I decided to write a blog. I have studied with some interesting people and stood on the shoulders of giants. Time to pass my wisdom on. Some I wrote, some I didn’t. What I didn’t I give credit to.
I remember one thing that gets me moving is when I design. I work with natural beads. The beads heal me as I create. They calm me and I feel good. I sing and I chant. I put healing into the beads that I create as well. This will all good intention that whomever the piece finds will find much love and healing themselves. As I put the healing in with this intention. In return receive the love and return. Can’t go wrong.
Stay tuned for some new pieces. Also re-engineered! I just looked at what I have and going to break down and recreate! I plan on getting them on ETSY before the retrograde. I’m setting my goal right here! This will keep me busy!
Started my ETSY account today. What started being a gloomy day, turned out being quite productive! Yay!
There is not a source of not Well-being. There is not a source of sickness. There is just the disallowance of wellness. In every particle of the Universe there is that which is wanted and lack of it. — Abraham