Finding Balance out of Chaos

I decided to change my desk around, originally because the A/C vent was freezing me out!  My dear partner helped me move things around. I solved that situation. But what I also did was make room for my art supply caddy!  There is also plenty of room to move my keyboard out of the way and take a sketch pad out.

I then turn my chair around and I’m at my design table. I’m a happy camper today! I find that as i reorganize my office, I’m finding the energy open up to create easier.

The past year, I have been having visions of drawing something. I don’t have the tools or the know-how to do what I saw.  However, I have ordered all the types of pens and brushes I need.    I’m going to go to learn something this week.  The internet has unlimited resources to choose from. I’m ready to play!

Posted in Grieving Naturally, Self Determination

“I didn’t get there by wishing for it or hoping for it, but by working for it.” – Estée Lauder

I really like this quote today. I needed the reminder today.  I worked my whole life and now in retirement. It is easy to slip into a comfortable mode. I really don’t want to totally be comfortable. There is always a need to strive for something wonderful.

What I’m striving for now is to help others who have just started their journey. I never claim to be an expert. However, I have been there and definitely bought the T-shirt.   As a single parent, I have mastered the art of networking. It was a survival technique to get one through the day. If one source didn’t work, on to the next with no regrets.  That is what made me tough and strong. I Mostly landing on my feet.  If there was a block, I worked a little more. I have many accomplishments. That is what I hold onto.  Because now with the loss of two children, I use that core of my accomplishments to hold me up daily.

I worked as a programmer in earlier years and then a contract executive assistant and technical writer.  Mostly in a men’s world.  Working the crazy hours, and still came home to be with the children to get them through their evening routine and to bed.  Many women are still married and they find they have to do it alone too! The responsibility is mostly on their shoulders.

I’ve experienced that time when I was afraid to leave a relationship, but it dawned on me, that I was doing it all anyway.  Many control freaks do a good job of trying to insist you are worthless.  But oh no, not this one. Bye Felicia!

NOOOooooo, I do not want those crazy hours anymore. But I will not lose that drive, the motivation, to keep on going in a forward motion.  I worked most of my life. You just don’t lose that identity. Your desire keeps your heart going and puts a nice smile on your face!

Posted in Grieving Naturally, Insights, Self Determination

When In Doubt, Map It Out

Ive spent most of my career in the computer world. With over 40 years experience, I’ve learned that before you take on a project, you map out your plan.

Why not take this knowledge to everyday life. In our busy lives, we forge ahead to get through our daily tasks and then wonder why they don’t get done. I took a time management  course. I learned that completion creates energy, incompletion, deminishes it. So we have a choice which direction to take on this map.

Programming is a lot of yes, no, if, then, and  that thought process. You take situations of your life through this process. Write it down.

You get to see how much time you waste.  You also make time for more activities. Some steps are just not necessary, so why go there or do them?

You also get to see how silly you were, to be anxious over a task, how easy it was to complete.  Simply by eliminating unnecessary  tasks on your journey.

I invite you to start mapping your life tasks, so you can make room to be truly alive!

Love to hear from you!

Posted in Creativity, Grieving Naturally, Self Determination, Uncategorized

Pulling it all together

Over the years I’ve saved several sayings that I have liked from various places and Facebook shares.  They spike a thought and possibly creativity within me. I’ve been busy in my office trying to make sense of all the wonderful supplies I have! I am grateful for all that I have but now. I am working on organizing.  I need to be in somewhat of order before I can create.

I went out and got myself some art supplies and jewelry supplies so I can enjoy both my creative talents.  It is a good sign that I am feeling a pull to create. It has been a while and to my followers, I apologize. I’ve been frozen in place from grief. Couldn’t get off the couch.

I did finally get myself into the pool in our community and get my body moving… That felt so good and now want to get my mind working  It goes in and out grief hits you at different times. I stay frozen (that is what I call it) less and less. This is good.

Tomorrow which is Memorial Day, I am celebrating my son’s 31 Birthday.  First birthday since he went to heaven.  I’m working on pulling myself together here so I don’t focus on sadness.  I’m getting excited to dive into my jewelry beads and let them sing to me and see what I can come up with.  I was on my design table last week and drew a blank.  I know something is in there.  I’m taking action and responsibility.  I know I’ll have some sad days. Each time I get back to myself faster and faster.

Hugs from me.

Posted in Self Determination, Uncategorized

One step in front of other

I have so many things on my list to do. My ADD kicked in and my brain went into a whirlwind. I finally found my way into the office and started working on paperwork. Getting organized and created some forms for my personal accounting. I had to remember to punch a 3 hole in the forms. You know they would get put back into the paper file and be rendered useless.  Well, this is a start!