This life… is your movie, You have choices to make for you and for no one else. Like the above meme states we have to accept the consequences for every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime. Taking responsibility is not always easy. But it is very healing. Because you get to see how much power you really do have within yourself. You can choose to have a roll on how it plays out for you.
Someone I know, gave me some bad news that they thought could happen if things don’t change and I don’t take action. So my thinking started to go on a whirlwind downhill. I’ve been upset and miserable because of this for several days. Then I realized that is my story not anyone elses. I awakened with the feeling that I can change this. So I kept repeating my favorite saying. Everything will be ok. I kept doing this and realized that the energy shifted. I was not miserable. We were joking and things started to look uplifting around me. I felt good things are coming my way.
When we get flustered, we tend to seek outside of ourselves to see what someone else may have to offer on the topic. But ultimately it is up to us. We take what we need and leave the rest. Ultimately the choice is ours and how we react or act. Sometimes we are dealt some really rough issues. Sometimes too many at once. However, this is the time to take to go within and meditate. Take a deep breath, and see what advice spirit has in store for you. You might be surprised. If you are headed down a path that starts to appear just not right…turn around and run.
Years ago I was told by an elder that I was a very strong person. During these times when I feel like I’m drowning, I tend to reach up to a sinking ship, wondering why they can’t save me. In many instances, I’ve been the one pulling them up by the boot straps anyway! This is the time that I need to pull up my big girl pants and walk to shore. Because I am actually in shallow water all that time. I can count on me like I always have and get on with life.
Note: Rely on yourself and your own creator every time you are confronted with a path that was not meant for you.
“Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change“…Stephen Hawking
Who am I to question the great Stephen Hawking. I started within my mind to do just that. Then I started to look at all the changes that I have been required to adapt to. Then thought to myself, damn I’m good!
When I’m on my journey I tend to seek inquires to people to see if I’m on the right track. Doesn’t mean my ability is less. It means I’m on an information fact finding journey. Once I gather all the information I will make my decision. When I tend to find many challenges are flying at me at once, I do reach out to see what others might do if they were in a situation. Doesn’t mean I buy into all the input, It means that I want to look at all sides of the problem before moving forward. I do have the ability to adapt to change. If anyone can, it is someone who has lost. Many kinds of loss, it is not just people. During this year I also had a partner lose his job, which resulted in loss of income. If that is not adapting I don’t know what is.
There is no time for a pity party, I picked up and move on. He got a job and I just treated myself to a brand new 2020 Car! It is my birthday present to me. I have the ability to adapt to positive outcomes. So do you!
Back on the 6th of September, I had celebrated my life on this earth for 67 years. I never hid the number from anyone. As time has passed, I learned many lessons. I noticed that some really are not repeating anymore. I celebrated those. I have hit the existing ones head on.
As I grow older I matured. my mind didn’t feel old, but my body reminded me. My body took the brunt end of my emotions through those lessons. The lesson that took the hardest hit at me was the loss of my two children. Wondering why I’m here and the two boys left at such an early age. My friend told me that my eyes looked vacant yestersday. This bothered me. Because I saw it in the photo myself.
Why me? That wasn’t the question. The creator doesn’t want a pity party! I took that lesson to task and asked the creator on the Harvest Moon. A time when the vail between the worlds is thin. I trust the creator, but doesn’t mean I have to like the answer. I try to understand it. The answer was that I fulfilled my purpose as a parent into ascending their spirtual growth to their perspective levels in the upper dimensions. They did their part in my lessons into ascending to my level of spirituality on earth. As I mature I may not have done so if they were not in my life to test me. This was an agreement on the other side between us. They were my teachers there and on earth.
Trying to understand this thought I remembered reading a meme a few months ago about how when you lose a child, that you are at a very high spiritual level at this point in time and closest to the creator. The grief is so gut wrenching that you have nothing left to lose. This also means that the greatest and strongest power is within us to create. To have endless flows of energy. But i couldn’t see it at the time. As the fog and shell shock of grief starts to wear off, you start to create , write, draw, design, stitch fheal and many other wonderful things. I’m finding a sense of peace that knowing my children are in good hands and they are serving their purpose. I know they are around me all the time.
Now it is my turnto pay attention to the path and the direction I am going. I am free to do this now. Just have to give myself the permissionto do so. I saw after I got that message last night that I have some marching orders. I was set free, thekids are ok. Doesn’t mean I’ll ever not miss them, I certainly love them. It means that it is out of my hands. It is my turn to be healed and then to heal.To heal through my arts and through my gift of healing. My soul has been hungry for a long time. Grief has taken a good part of the past 7 years of my life between my two beautiful sons. Time to feed her and not my body.
I decided to change my desk around, originally because the A/C vent was freezing me out! My dear partner helped me move things around. I solved that situation. But what I also did was make room for my art supply caddy! There is also plenty of room to move my keyboard out of the way and take a sketch pad out.
I then turn my chair around and I’m at my design table. I’m a happy camper today! I find that as i reorganize my office, I’m finding the energy open up to create easier.
The past year, I have been having visions of drawing something. I don’t have the tools or the know-how to do what I saw. However, I have ordered all the types of pens and brushes I need. I’m going to go to learn something this week. The internet has unlimited resources to choose from. I’m ready to play!
I don’t know about you…but I need this constant reminder. Because there are times I let myself down. I know I can create miracles like we all can! I’ll go into a pity party and even I don’t like me. So Out of nowhere, today I said I was going to come into the office and create. So I did! Sometimes I amaze myself. I’m being funny here.
The picture I added to this post is what I designed today. I am an earth sign and needed grounding. The color brown is all about being all-natural and organic. About security, stability, and support. I’m needing that today. There are not any precious stones on this piece. However, there is copper. It is a healing metal. It is a conductor of energy. Copper is linked to the divine and the Queen of Heaven.
When I want to empower all my existing power within. I pull a piece of jewelry or a crystal to speak to me. I just don’t design. I Chant and heal as I work on each piece. This is the power within What do you do in your life that enhances the power within?
I really like this quote today. I needed the reminder today. I worked my whole life and now in retirement. It is easy to slip into a comfortable mode. I really don’t want to totally be comfortable. There is always a need to strive for something wonderful.
What I’m striving for now is to help others who have just started their journey. I never claim to be an expert. However, I have been there and definitely bought the T-shirt. As a single parent, I have mastered the art of networking. It was a survival technique to get one through the day. If one source didn’t work, on to the next with no regrets. That is what made me tough and strong. I Mostly landing on my feet. If there was a block, I worked a little more. I have many accomplishments. That is what I hold onto. Because now with the loss of two children, I use that core of my accomplishments to hold me up daily.
I worked as a programmer in earlier years and then a contract executive assistant and technical writer. Mostly in a men’s world. Working the crazy hours, and still came home to be with the children to get them through their evening routine and to bed. Many women are still married and they find they have to do it alone too! The responsibility is mostly on their shoulders.
I’ve experienced that time when I was afraid to leave a relationship, but it dawned on me, that I was doing it all anyway. Many control freaks do a good job of trying to insist you are worthless. But oh no, not this one. Bye Felicia!
NOOOooooo, I do not want those crazy hours anymore. But I will not lose that drive, the motivation, to keep on going in a forward motion. I worked most of my life. You just don’t lose that identity. Your desire keeps your heart going and puts a nice smile on your face!
I had a rough day today. I had some good news and that is we paid off our house today. But then we had some bad news. Our car is messed up. The dealership knows it is Corporate problem but won’t acknowledge it. I looked it up on the car problems of the manufacture. I did what I could. But This overshadowed the happy news.
I noticed myself lashing out at my partner, I started going to take a nap and ended up with 3 phone calls. So that wasn’t going to happen. So I did what always makes me happy. WRITE!
I also did a few tutorials. It feels good to get myself out of the funk. Paying off a home, is good news. I am going to celebrate.
Ive spent most of my career in the computer world. With over 40 years experience, I’ve learned that before you take on a project, you map out your plan.
Why not take this knowledge to everyday life. In our busy lives, we forge ahead to get through our daily tasks and then wonder why they don’t get done. I took a time management course. I learned that completion creates energy, incompletion, deminishes it. So we have a choice which direction to take on this map.
Programming is a lot of yes, no, if, then, and that thought process. You take situations of your life through this process. Write it down.
You get to see how much time you waste. You also make time for more activities. Some steps are just not necessary, so why go there or do them?
You also get to see how silly you were, to be anxious over a task, how easy it was to complete. Simply by eliminating unnecessary tasks on your journey.
I invite you to start mapping your life tasks, so you can make room to be truly alive!
Love to hear from you!
“If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.”
The 5 phases of grief do not come to you in any specific order. Just because you went through the phase it doesn’t mean that you will not be hit with it again. There is a different aspect of the anger that you haven’t addressed.
There are different types of losses. You may be going through the loss of a special person, but however, there are losses that occur that you don’t realize that require processing just as much a loss of a loved one. There is a loss of a home, Job, finance, friend who moved away or a relationship that didn’t work. A divorce. The key does not disregard these losses as something you don’t have to process. Loss is a loss.
Once you have acknowledged what it is that you are going through. You can take a deep breath, don’t beat yourself up about it and carry on.