“Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Self-respect leads to self-discipline. When you have both firmly under your belt, that’s real power”…. Clint Eastwood
With each day, I am finding that I am getting more disciplined. I am owning what issues I need to address and do not own the ones that are none of my business. Sometimes there is a fine line between the two. I have to take a deep breathe then say… That has nothing to do with me. I found with age. I’m getting better with that.
At times when you are vulnerable, we tend to own what others think we should. They are very persistant. It is important to take time to shake off what doesn’t belong to us. There are a lot of psychic vampires that are around us. Those are the ones that don’t like to see you succeed. Don’t like you see you happy. They will go out of the way to bring you down.
As above, so below. When things are happening here on earth, assume there are plenty of energy particles floating around that you don’t see, that can affect you. When I sometimes describe a psychic vampire, I say that it is like you walk into a meeting with a suit of velcro on…and when you walk out of there you have all these energy balls stuck to you. These are the energies of the ones throwing negative thoughts your way. They have their own anger but they want you to own them. They don’t want them but who better than you. You are vulnerable, you will accept them and they don’t have to anymore.
You don’t have to be in a vulnerable spot to be hit by this energy. You can be happy and your life going well. The key is noticing this is what is going on in the moment. Catch it and return it back to the sender. Visualize putting up a mirror and the worst words are going back to them. Don’t own it. If you are an empath. It hurts you worst. Many times you just accept it because of fear. Ask yourself fear of what? Is it my fear?
There are items, amulets and talisman with different symbols that can protect you. Black tourmaline is a good protection. Many cultures have various power items you can use. Many times it is harder when you are around family and very close friends. Your guard is down and they are the last ones you would suspect. Zap …they got you. Each time you catch it, as it is happening. You get stronger. This is self-respect. Because you do deserve it. No one can have power over you unless you hand it to them. Love yourself today
Stormy weather is not the trees blown in the wind, nor are the surprises coming from the weather people. They are the people who you least expect it to come from at full force with no warning. I can not control these people, nor do I wish too. But just because they say that I should, I could or do anything, doesn’t mean that I have too, nor does it mean that I’m a bad person or not a good friend. It means I do not do things in the same way or the same manor as they do. I can not control these types. What hurts is you had faith that these people are your friends. These storms come from out of left field like a tornado. I’m disappointed that is true. I can’t control the weather, but I can control me.
I’ve ducked for cover and wait out the storm during these times. I’ve had these blast of weather surprises come at me more than I care to mention. I have had to exercise the art of patience over the years. I’m a good friend and a listener. But that art of patience is not my strongest virtue when I’ve been dealt blast of stormy wind. I do not wish to be whipped around with the waves of emotion. I can either stay in its path or protect myself. I do not intend to be caught up in this one. I will wait out the storm. My strength has not withered, it is just knowing that this was not my storm to whether.
We all have rough days. So more difficult than others. But we have to choose whether we want to mire in the muck or move forward. It’s a rainy type of day. My bones hurt and I can really surrender to going to sleep and stay in there until the morning.
For me when I feel things are impossible, I come into the office and start typing. I can write myself out of impossible and realize that I am possible. Sometimes this is a daily task. It works for me. Then I’ll take it a next step and talk to someone on here or on phone that I know that I can help. It gets me out of being in a pity party. Leaves me with a good feeling. What do you do to get you out of an impossible mood?
To me this saying is to get past the fear, is put one step in front of the other. That sounds so simple. When you are in the middle of your deepest fear, depression or anxiety…you just want to smack someone when they say something so cliche!
When I read this quote. The first thing I thought of is to start with a cup of coffee!. That is necessary. It gets your mind thinking. I worked years amonst engineers and they always had a cup of coffee in their hand as they walked around with their minds in a creative place. I had many days that I looked at the white screen that needed words on it desparately. My mind was whirling and couldn’t figure what to write. I went to famous quotes, then images created my own meme in Microsoft Publisher. Wala, I have an image. No… it wasn’t my quote, No it wasn’t my image. It wasn’t even the original image the quote was on! But what it did is it made it possible for my mind to start writing and journaling.
The next step will be the impossible. That will be my own images that I create, and the quote maybe my own.
I see that this quote is a useful one especially when I don’t want to exercise. Just getting up is necessary. Walk a few steps, Then what I thought was impossible was walking down the street daily. Not quite there yet. When I go through difficult challenges, something so simple as starting with a cup of coffee or getting up off my butt…just might be the very thing that sparks the impossible! This could be used for organizing too. I have a few piles of stuff to be addressed! Looking at it this way. The Impossible is action. It becomes possible and then necessary! Try it!
I spent many years staying in the house. I did not exactly not have a good excuse and I used them all. Mainly no access to a vehicle, because of my partner’s work. I had a horrible accident back in 2011 with a 18 wheeler. It has left me with a challenge to walk. Something happened…maybe a divine intervention. I don’t know. But it wasn’t good on his part but definately for me. He landed in the hospital. He’s doing a little better. But he can’t work. So guess who has to drive.
It was easy to stay in the house and have a pity party. But I went online and found things to do that I like. I went to a meditation group and joined a book club. I love it. I’m not done yet! I’m going to be able to start doing Reiki in at the meditation group. I know my son wanted to me to get out more and be independent. I really started to do that after he passed in January. But then got quite comfortable sitting in my spot in front of the TV. I need to stick with this. My soul has been crying out to meet new like minded people. To come alive again. I loved getting out.
I’ve very glad that D (my partner) is doing well by the day. But he can’t really go out and work yet. When or if he does. I made an agreement to use the car in the day and he can work at night. He likes waking up late and I’m a mornings. It is amazing how you are thrown road blocks and then when you take a minute you get to see how they were not at all meant to block you but to free you!
Back in about 2008, I started my Masters program in Strategic Leadership and Personal Development. I completed 3/4 of the program minus the internship. At this time my eldest son found he had brain cancer. Just couldn’t put two words together at the time. Years since, i wanted to finish my program. The school since closed and life just took me away to this past year where I lost my second son to sepsis.
I feel that the life experience that I had gone through these years certainly can be justified as an internship. I don’t think there is a more difficult road to follow. The loss of 2 children. My story, my strength, my work, my studying says it all. So this degree might have taken a round about direction. But I landed where I needed to be. Many parents are losing children more and more unfortunately. But my story is my story. It is something only to be experienced. These writings are the beginnings of my book. No one can tell me that I am wrong or right…once you lose someone, especially children. I am at a level in spirituality that I am ready to face whatever God is about to hand me. Because I have already survived the most unimaginable task of giving my children up to spirit. I got a message from spirit in meditation not to long ago. I was told that my children are in good hands and now it is my turn to heal and work my purpose.
Just when I think I have been through the worst, my life partner ended up emergency with Congested Heart Failure and Hypertension. He was in there for a week and now I’m here and have to face this. I felt myself getting soooo mad. How dare he. I was just beginning to feel a bit better. Then in this morning meditation, I realized it was me I am mad at. I need to be able to fulfill my purpose no matter what is thrown at me. All will be well. That insight was not an easy one to face. I’ve already been though enough. This has got to stop. But I saw, inspite of everything that goes on around me, I have to heal myself first. All else will heal by itself. Just by being.
I got my marching orders. I’ve always been a healer, and my path is about helping others. I just never got the clarification before hand about what I was helping others with. Leadership is about leading yourself first then others. The determination to do so comes from my inner being. My Masters Degree is complete! So it is! Next…
It has been a rough week. My life partner has been admitted with both some heart and kidney failure. It has been very trying for me. Dealing with hospitals alone can send you in a whirlwind. It has been less than a year since my son died so all this stuff is fresh in my brain. I will trust he will be fine.
Since all this has happened, I had to get up and move around more, walk more, do more. Break through fears. It was rough the first couple of days. But now that it has been a week, it felt good to walk, it feels good to get up and to do things. I’m choosing to eat healthier. Key is why do I need a horrible event to get me moving. I am not alone on this, that I know.
Sometimes when we are faced with something like this. We have to look in the mirror and say. Hey what is it about me that I don’t like with this situation. I am in no position to call the kettle black, I can be mad at him if I am not caring for myself. Wake up time!!!!!
One thing you will come to know about me. Is that I will respect your opinion. But my pet peeve. Is when my idea is not respected in return. This is when I get a tad irritated. It is ok to have my opinion.
When someone questioned me, sometimes I would fluster and change my opinion in my early years. I don’t need to. I believe in the idea that we can heal ourselves is an idea that I have stuck by for many years. It is what I believe for me.
I bring forth ideas that I have tried or would like to try for towards a better healhy me. I am not telling anyone to ditch their doctor. You can do many of the these methods in conjunction with having doctor. Like deep breathing. What I would like for you to understand. Many times you can try natural remedies before you rush to take medications. Grief is not a mental illness. It is a natural process we go through when we lose someone. Why would they prescribe a med for this?
I live in a 55+ state of Florida. If you go into the doctor, you will see people carrying in a Walmart bag full of medications they take. Many times there are more than 3 for each body party they are hurting. I just ask you to question this. Why need 3 -5 pills for one modalady? Really? All the effects of one lead to more ailments and more pills which lead to effects. Is this what you want?
Did you realize that if you want to take a vitamin that you are unsure of, you can check with your pharmacist. They will check it out and print out any conflicts. Usually vitamins don’t have many, but they can. So wise to check. Just to be sure.
Because I choose alternative ways of healing, doesn’t mean I don’t get sick. What I do, is listen to my body. I know when I’ve done too much of one thing, I pull my self back and get back on my program. I have to take responsibility for my own health, so how I do it is my choice and doesn’t mean It’s wrong. I find when I start to get myself off sugar, and any junk food. Start to eat well. I do feel wonderful. My arthritis lets up, I’m not in pain. Many other changes start to happen that feel great! The magic happens in this moment! What are you going to try that is new this week to take care of yourself?
I can’t begin to tell you how many times I have questioned myself. What is my calling?
I have been searching and researching since I was a little girl. There was something in me that felt that I did not fit into the box of the big 3 major religions. I am a rebel from right out of the gate. Being a rebel isn’t always a bad thing. Most of the trouble I’d get myself in, is with my mouth. Always inquisitive! Putting the pieces of the puzzle together and possibly take that path. I took risks and I got burned and more often I succeeded. I never gave up searching. The calling was always strong.
My research took me to the eastern philosophies. I learned about energy and became a Reiki Master\Teacher. I learned many other types of healing. I knew myself better, that i could not remember all those terms in main stream medicine. Nor Eastern for that fact! I felt that I was being called to heal. Researching western mysticism of Kabbalah led me to another path. There is a similarity between the healing that and the chakra system. The energy centers are just called something different. Both systems are complex as you get more advanced, yet fascinating!
When you start to compare various philosophies, you will find that there is a common thread and that is called Love. At this point no matter what direction that was chosen, I couldn’t go wrong as long as it came from a place of love. When I would meditate I would get some insightful messages. I’d get you are going to do this or that, but not how to do it. This left me frustrated and led me to the question…what next.
I’ve been journaling for several years and wrote these messages down. So I started a list of what I liked working on. I had 25 years of journals to choose from. Went to several seminars. Had such a zest to learn more. It was never enough to fill some void that I had to fulfill a calling. I never could quite put my finger on exactly.
Then in 2012 I lost my son older son to Brain Cancer. It left me numb for several years. Didn’t do any healing and especially not on myself. I ate through my grief. Just I felt I was coming out of the fog, My younger and only son was taken from me. I have nothing left to lose. My heart is broken. So I thought. I started doing what always made me feel good. I wrote. I joined groups of other parents who lost children. Having lost one son already and time has passed. I felt that I can be of service to others. I also wanted to help others with coping with grief with out the help of meds. Working with a do it yourself method when going through the worst moments. So combining the my energy healing background and my experience I took to writing this blog. Writing gives me a purpose and and reason to share and be of service to others.
The blog started this way but also has evolved to helping anyone who felt that wanted to heal look at healing themselves. Not just people grieving for children either. I’m not a doctor. I do have to say check with your doctor before trying any form of healing. But I think you don’t need permission to take deep breaths. I have tried several of the different methods that I have shared. Many times I haven’t.
Would love to hear from you on your experience. Many times when we go through difficult times. It appears we can not get out of our own way. Look through some old posts and try something different. One way doesn’t work for all. Sometimes I go back myself and look, because I need a reminder. I really appreciate all of you that have started following me and would love to hear from you! Do you know what your calling is?