“Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Self-respect leads to self-discipline. When you have both firmly under your belt, that’s real power”…. Clint Eastwood
With each day, I am finding that I am getting more disciplined. I am owning what issues I need to address and do not own the ones that are none of my business. Sometimes there is a fine line between the two. I have to take a deep breathe then say… That has nothing to do with me. I found with age. I’m getting better with that.
At times when you are vulnerable, we tend to own what others think we should. They are very persistant. It is important to take time to shake off what doesn’t belong to us. There are a lot of psychic vampires that are around us. Those are the ones that don’t like to see you succeed. Don’t like you see you happy. They will go out of the way to bring you down.
As above, so below. When things are happening here on earth, assume there are plenty of energy particles floating around that you don’t see, that can affect you. When I sometimes describe a psychic vampire, I say that it is like you walk into a meeting with a suit of velcro on…and when you walk out of there you have all these energy balls stuck to you. These are the energies of the ones throwing negative thoughts your way. They have their own anger but they want you to own them. They don’t want them but who better than you. You are vulnerable, you will accept them and they don’t have to anymore.
You don’t have to be in a vulnerable spot to be hit by this energy. You can be happy and your life going well. The key is noticing this is what is going on in the moment. Catch it and return it back to the sender. Visualize putting up a mirror and the worst words are going back to them. Don’t own it. If you are an empath. It hurts you worst. Many times you just accept it because of fear. Ask yourself fear of what? Is it my fear?
There are items, amulets and talisman with different symbols that can protect you. Black tourmaline is a good protection. Many cultures have various power items you can use. Many times it is harder when you are around family and very close friends. Your guard is down and they are the last ones you would suspect. Zap …they got you. Each time you catch it, as it is happening. You get stronger. This is self-respect. Because you do deserve it. No one can have power over you unless you hand it to them. Love yourself today
It has been a rough week. My life partner has been admitted with both some heart and kidney failure. It has been very trying for me. Dealing with hospitals alone can send you in a whirlwind. It has been less than a year since my son died so all this stuff is fresh in my brain. I will trust he will be fine.
Since all this has happened, I had to get up and move around more, walk more, do more. Break through fears. It was rough the first couple of days. But now that it has been a week, it felt good to walk, it feels good to get up and to do things. I’m choosing to eat healthier. Key is why do I need a horrible event to get me moving. I am not alone on this, that I know.
Sometimes when we are faced with something like this. We have to look in the mirror and say. Hey what is it about me that I don’t like with this situation. I am in no position to call the kettle black, I can be mad at him if I am not caring for myself. Wake up time!!!!!
I can’t begin to tell you how many times I have questioned myself. What is my calling?
I have been searching and researching since I was a little girl. There was something in me that felt that I did not fit into the box of the big 3 major religions. I am a rebel from right out of the gate. Being a rebel isn’t always a bad thing. Most of the trouble I’d get myself in, is with my mouth. Always inquisitive! Putting the pieces of the puzzle together and possibly take that path. I took risks and I got burned and more often I succeeded. I never gave up searching. The calling was always strong.
My research took me to the eastern philosophies. I learned about energy and became a Reiki Master\Teacher. I learned many other types of healing. I knew myself better, that i could not remember all those terms in main stream medicine. Nor Eastern for that fact! I felt that I was being called to heal. Researching western mysticism of Kabbalah led me to another path. There is a similarity between the healing that and the chakra system. The energy centers are just called something different. Both systems are complex as you get more advanced, yet fascinating!
When you start to compare various philosophies, you will find that there is a common thread and that is called Love. At this point no matter what direction that was chosen, I couldn’t go wrong as long as it came from a place of love. When I would meditate I would get some insightful messages. I’d get you are going to do this or that, but not how to do it. This left me frustrated and led me to the question…what next.
I’ve been journaling for several years and wrote these messages down. So I started a list of what I liked working on. I had 25 years of journals to choose from. Went to several seminars. Had such a zest to learn more. It was never enough to fill some void that I had to fulfill a calling. I never could quite put my finger on exactly.
Then in 2012 I lost my son older son to Brain Cancer. It left me numb for several years. Didn’t do any healing and especially not on myself. I ate through my grief. Just I felt I was coming out of the fog, My younger and only son was taken from me. I have nothing left to lose. My heart is broken. So I thought. I started doing what always made me feel good. I wrote. I joined groups of other parents who lost children. Having lost one son already and time has passed. I felt that I can be of service to others. I also wanted to help others with coping with grief with out the help of meds. Working with a do it yourself method when going through the worst moments. So combining the my energy healing background and my experience I took to writing this blog. Writing gives me a purpose and and reason to share and be of service to others.
The blog started this way but also has evolved to helping anyone who felt that wanted to heal look at healing themselves. Not just people grieving for children either. I’m not a doctor. I do have to say check with your doctor before trying any form of healing. But I think you don’t need permission to take deep breaths. I have tried several of the different methods that I have shared. Many times I haven’t.
Would love to hear from you on your experience. Many times when we go through difficult times. It appears we can not get out of our own way. Look through some old posts and try something different. One way doesn’t work for all. Sometimes I go back myself and look, because I need a reminder. I really appreciate all of you that have started following me and would love to hear from you! Do you know what your calling is?
Back on the 6th of September, I had celebrated my life on this earth for 67 years. I never hid the number from anyone. As time has passed, I learned many lessons. I noticed that some really are not repeating anymore. I celebrated those. I have hit the existing ones head on.
As I grow older I matured. my mind didn’t feel old, but my body reminded me. My body took the brunt end of my emotions through those lessons. The lesson that took the hardest hit at me was the loss of my two children. Wondering why I’m here and the two boys left at such an early age. My friend told me that my eyes looked vacant yestersday. This bothered me. Because I saw it in the photo myself.
Why me? That wasn’t the question. The creator doesn’t want a pity party! I took that lesson to task and asked the creator on the Harvest Moon. A time when the vail between the worlds is thin. I trust the creator, but doesn’t mean I have to like the answer. I try to understand it. The answer was that I fulfilled my purpose as a parent into ascending their spirtual growth to their perspective levels in the upper dimensions. They did their part in my lessons into ascending to my level of spirituality on earth. As I mature I may not have done so if they were not in my life to test me. This was an agreement on the other side between us. They were my teachers there and on earth.
Trying to understand this thought I remembered reading a meme a few months ago about how when you lose a child, that you are at a very high spiritual level at this point in time and closest to the creator. The grief is so gut wrenching that you have nothing left to lose. This also means that the greatest and strongest power is within us to create. To have endless flows of energy. But i couldn’t see it at the time. As the fog and shell shock of grief starts to wear off, you start to create , write, draw, design, stitch fheal and many other wonderful things. I’m finding a sense of peace that knowing my children are in good hands and they are serving their purpose. I know they are around me all the time.
Now it is my turn to pay attention to the path and the direction I am going. I am free to do this now. Just have to give myself the permission to do so. I saw after I got that message last night that I have some marching orders. I was set free, thekids are ok. Doesn’t mean I’ll ever not miss them, I certainly love them. It means that it is out of my hands. It is my turn to be healed and then to heal. To heal through my arts and through my gift of healing. My soul has been hungry for a long time. Grief has taken a good part of the past 7 years of my life between my two beautiful sons. Time to feed her and not my body.
I have most of our things prepared for the storm. This morning I woke to find that bit isn’t hitting the west coast of Florida. All models point going north. However, it is still a crapshoot.
I can’t take a moment of relief, a deep breath, because my grandchildren and many of my friends are living on another side of the state. Even if I didn’t know anyone that lives there. I know what it is like and know that…Now is the time to take to pray for anyone in its path. Please join me ❤
There is a hurricane coming! Meteorologist is in high gear on TV, and they are soooo excited! People all around are at the stores buying up all the water and supplies. Well, I can really freak out or not. First of all, they have no clue what direction it is going. I am watching all the people panic. Many Floridians already know this. Some still panic.
I check to see if I had batteries and all the things you need for the go-bag. I got food. I filled the water bottles. Which I have not developed the list yet. It is Thursday, It is not coming until Monday and that is if it hits here. Well ran out of batteries, ordered from Amazon, here by tomorrow. The task is done.
Worry makes us old! There are so many times we waste so much time with unnecessary anxiety. Don’t get me wrong, I lived through 2 horrifying experiences in 2004 with 10 each without electric. Not to mention the level 5 coming at us 5 years ago that didn’t hit our area that bad. I don’t want to go through this again. Yes, I am nervous. But we have time. I have the stuff in the house.
It is not hitting to Sunday, Monday or maybe Tuesday. So how many days are we going to put our body into turmoil? We do this to ourselves, not just through hurricanes. Anxiety is so harmful to us. We don’t need a pill. We can do this! It is important at this time to stop and pause, pace yourself, take a few deep breaths. Make your list. You just might be surprised that you already have most of the items and your go-to bag is full. If the hurricane doesn’t even come your way. You put yourself through an unnecessary unliving hell for nothing. Now Breathe!
I’ve been journaling for several years. In a matter of fact, I have over 25 years of journals just waiting to be sorted through.
Before I begin a notebook, I put what am I grateful for right on the front page. Over the years, things have changed. I see now that I’m older, things seemed so silly to me now. So unimportant. It is nice to go back and see this for yourself. it is very healing. Be creative! Use different color pens, sketch in there, use different types of paper. I use regular notebook paper with tear out perforation so I can tear it out and put it in a looseleaf notebook after.
You get to see how you managed to land on your feet, after a traumatic time. Oh, I had a lot of those! When you look back. You get to see how you had a part in it. How you can do things differently. Once your children grow older, you get to see that you put your own parents through hell, or maybe, you were not so bad after all! Each incident and journey is different. I never strived for perfection. Nothing is. But I always put my best foot forward. You are only fooling yourself if you think that you can be perfect.
Privacy can be an issue. If you are writing your journal in a document. Make it password protected.
Many times I find I open up a blank page. That is when I go to my page where I write where I am grateful. Other times I take a saying and let my feelings revolve around the topic. Sometimes. I really do amaze myself. I encourage you to pick up a pen and paper, or go to your computer and start writing out your journey. If you have not already started. I would love to hear from anyone on ideas about journaling.