Posted in Creativity, Grieving Naturally, Self Determination, Uncategorized

Pulling it all together

Over the years I’ve saved several sayings that I have liked from various places and Facebook shares.  They spike a thought and possibly creativity within me. I’ve been busy in my office trying to make sense of all the wonderful supplies I have! I am grateful for all that I have but now. I am working on organizing.  I need to be in somewhat of order before I can create.

I went out and got myself some art supplies and jewelry supplies so I can enjoy both my creative talents.  It is a good sign that I am feeling a pull to create. It has been a while and to my followers, I apologize. I’ve been frozen in place from grief. Couldn’t get off the couch.

I did finally get myself into the pool in our community and get my body moving… That felt so good and now want to get my mind working  It goes in and out grief hits you at different times. I stay frozen (that is what I call it) less and less. This is good.

Tomorrow which is Memorial Day, I am celebrating my son’s 31 Birthday.  First birthday since he went to heaven.  I’m working on pulling myself together here so I don’t focus on sadness.  I’m getting excited to dive into my jewelry beads and let them sing to me and see what I can come up with.  I was on my design table last week and drew a blank.  I know something is in there.  I’m taking action and responsibility.  I know I’ll have some sad days. Each time I get back to myself faster and faster.

Hugs from me.

Posted in Grieving Naturally, Uncategorized

Crying doesn’t make you weak

I had a rough week this week. Yes, I miss you too! I’ve been so sensitive about the silliest of things. I caught myself crying. I’ve tried so much to stay strong. Then the flood gates opened and they didn’t stop.  I feel that sometimes it is so hard to stay strong you have to give yourself a break. Regroup and start all over again. Each time it gets less and less time between strong times.

All week I stayed on the couch. Did not do much. Numb. I just don’t like that. It is not right. Then I start with the wrong foods. This morning I said Stop!

Then I said to myself that it is ok to have a good cry. You lost 2 children. You gave birth to them, you raised them, fed them, clothed them, and everything else that goes along with raising children. All of a sudden they are pulled out from under you.  You watched them suffer. Your heart is still connected to them. Poof…they are gone. What an empty feeling. They were adults they had their own lives. They were out on their own. But I really miss them! That is ok!

Today I’m typing this from my computer, opposed to the tablet. I am in my office and ready to start designing some jewelry.   Hope you have a great day!

Posted in Self Determination, Uncategorized

One step in front of other

I have so many things on my list to do. My ADD kicked in and my brain went into a whirlwind. I finally found my way into the office and started working on paperwork. Getting organized and created some forms for my personal accounting. I had to remember to punch a 3 hole in the forms. You know they would get put back into the paper file and be rendered useless.  Well, this is a start!