I had a rough week this week. Yes, I miss you too! I’ve been so sensitive about the silliest of things. I caught myself crying. I’ve tried so much to stay strong. Then the flood gates opened and they didn’t stop. I feel that sometimes it is so hard to stay strong you have to give yourself a break. Regroup and start all over again. Each time it gets less and less time between strong times.
All week I stayed on the couch. Did not do much. Numb. I just don’t like that. It is not right. Then I start with the wrong foods. This morning I said Stop!
Then I said to myself that it is ok to have a good cry. You lost 2 children. You gave birth to them, you raised them, fed them, clothed them, and everything else that goes along with raising children. All of a sudden they are pulled out from under you. You watched them suffer. Your heart is still connected to them. Poof…they are gone. What an empty feeling. They were adults they had their own lives. They were out on their own. But I really miss them! That is ok!
Today I’m typing this from my computer, opposed to the tablet. I am in my office and ready to start designing some jewelry. Hope you have a great day!
I had a rough weekend. My partner passed a kidney stones, ouch! He required attention. I didn’t mind. But I realized I forgot me.
I didn’t post my food, nor eat healthy meals. I will always be there for other people, I’ll keep doing it. The poor guy was in pain, I was very concerned. But I forgot to take care of me.
I’d love to find out a way to jump out of the moment to take care of me, consistently. Mainly, because there will always be something happening. I get through the stress, then i want to eat anything not tied down.
The key is not settling on forgetting ourselves, no matter what is thrown in our path! It is about settling on being the best we can! You keep striving, you get it!
I’m only 2 months in from my loss from my younger son Allen. I do ok. I have my moments but I’m functioning. I am doing well with my sugar numbers, even though I had a perfectly good reason to go haywire.
But then came another blow. My dear friend of over 20 years, took ill in hospital and I lost her yesterday. She does not live near me. I was blessed to be able to say goodbye to her. Her daughter put the phone up to her ear. Even though we did not live near. We were on the phone daily chatting. To me, that was a visit. We helped each other through the toughest of time. Yes, she was there for me when both my sons passed. We were there for each other at times for celebration too.
My heart is so heavy right now. I feel that grief is trauma. When you have to deal with so much of it…it takes a toll on you. This is the second friend within a year that has passed from kidney failure. What this is showing me, is that I need to stay diligent with my food plan and avoid the sugars. Take care of myself. This goes back to why I even started this blog. I want to live.
I have low blood sugar. I choose to look at it this way. I am trying my darnest not to call it Diabetes. I’m choosing to take care of my health. This blog is my journey to living!
I went to a training yesterday, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I recognize that I have to take care of myself, however, to be told I have to go to all these lists of doctors that will add to the disease. Yes, I will keep an eye on my eyes and not walk barefoot. That will be rough. I’m always walking barefoot! I’ll Watch for infections. This is something you should do anyway.
Right now I’m trying my best to keep my blood sugar down by healthy eating and living. When I looked into the book they gave me that listed all the drugs that I could possibly take. It cured me of putting a piece of cake in my mouth. The side effects were downright scary. Starting with weight gain. Stomach problems. No wonder you lose weight on that one. It gives you stomach problems.
My biggest hurdle is not eating emotionally. Having been only 1 month since my son passed. Gives me a justified reason for some good chocolate. However, learning how to live is now more about having emotions and not punishing my self in the process. I’m open to any insight!!!!