Over the recent years, I have found that grief has many faces. People who lost a child is not the same as someone who lost a parent or spouse. Now, this does not mean that it is any less significant. It is different. I spent many hours reading and in groups, trying to make sense of it, if you can at all.
Then I realized that people who have lost children have different types of experiences as well. I have not lost a child at birth, through an accident, or very super young. My heart goes out to them. But when you have a child that is in his 20’s, 30’s or more. You got to know them. You raised them. You got to watch them grow, all their firsts, all the times you kissed their wounds, held them and comforted them, watch them in their accomplishments and made you proud. It is just different!
But understand when you tell me how all your children are around you. When you know your kids are going to be there at the holidays, the phone calls have stopped. All the commercials are on TV and you realize, oh yes I don’t have to get anything. You can’t be afraid to talk to someone, but be sensitive if they are having a hard day. Don’t take it personally. You find you are all alone a lot…no matter who is around you.
If that is not hard enough. Then you lose both your children. I don’t want you to understand. But sometimes I don’t want to suck it up either. Move on? Really? I hope you never get to know what it is like to lose lose a child or two. Grief is a process. it is not a mental illness. You have to walk through it. In your time not everyone elses. Not all days are bad. When you go with the flow and acknowelege that..the feelings are just part of loss. Allow yourself to be with your broken heart. You will always be ok! I promise you. As time moves on, I have more good days than not. There are only 24 hours in a day and tomorrow will be better!
“Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Self-respect leads to self-discipline. When you have both firmly under your belt, that’s real power”…. Clint Eastwood
With each day, I am finding that I am getting more disciplined. I am owning what issues I need to address and do not own the ones that are none of my business. Sometimes there is a fine line between the two. I have to take a deep breathe then say… That has nothing to do with me. I found with age. I’m getting better with that.
At times when you are vulnerable, we tend to own what others think we should. They are very persistant. It is important to take time to shake off what doesn’t belong to us. There are a lot of psychic vampires that are around us. Those are the ones that don’t like to see you succeed. Don’t like you see you happy. They will go out of the way to bring you down.
As above, so below. When things are happening here on earth, assume there are plenty of energy particles floating around that you don’t see, that can affect you. When I sometimes describe a psychic vampire, I say that it is like you walk into a meeting with a suit of velcro on…and when you walk out of there you have all these energy balls stuck to you. These are the energies of the ones throwing negative thoughts your way. They have their own anger but they want you to own them. They don’t want them but who better than you. You are vulnerable, you will accept them and they don’t have to anymore.
You don’t have to be in a vulnerable spot to be hit by this energy. You can be happy and your life going well. The key is noticing this is what is going on in the moment. Catch it and return it back to the sender. Visualize putting up a mirror and the worst words are going back to them. Don’t own it. If you are an empath. It hurts you worst. Many times you just accept it because of fear. Ask yourself fear of what? Is it my fear?
There are items, amulets and talisman with different symbols that can protect you. Black tourmaline is a good protection. Many cultures have various power items you can use. Many times it is harder when you are around family and very close friends. Your guard is down and they are the last ones you would suspect. Zap …they got you. Each time you catch it, as it is happening. You get stronger. This is self-respect. Because you do deserve it. No one can have power over you unless you hand it to them. Love yourself today
It is very easy to look at the memes that flash by our paths daily on social media. This one in particular was one I wanted to address here. It is easy for someone to say don’t listen, walk away and stay firm. But when you care about someone, invested significant time in a relationship, friendship… this seems impossible. It hurts, it sucks and it is just not right.
What is important is step back. Take a look at it. What was my part in it. Did I have something to do with it? If I did, I’ll try to talk to them. Will they listen to both sides? Was it both parties? Talk it out. Even better did it have anything to do with me at all? Some people just need to put a blame on someone else for the difficulties, saddness, insecurities. They need to feel better and they do it by putting you down. They don’t have a life many times and why they feel they need to attempt to destroy yours too.
This behavior is infultratred in the media. Bullies have been around for centuries. However, how we react to it is what matters. Intellectually we know this. Especially if you are an empath. It is like a smack in the face. It leaves you numb and frozen. It is ok to have these feelings. But take a deep breathe, and revert back to don’t listen, walk away and stand firm. Have a discussion if you think they will be receptive if not. Don’t take that personally either. It’s their problem, not yours. You will be ok. Just because you are.
Feng shui definition from Merriam – Webster.com is – a Chinese geomantic practice in which a structure or site is chosen or configured so as to harmonize with the spiritual forces that inhabit it; also : orientation, placement, or arrangement according to the precepts of feng shui.
This system governs spatial arrangements and the flow of chi (energy). It is based on the 5 elements of the Earth, Fire, Metal, Water and Wood . These elemental qualities flow continually in a cycle. One item can enhance or deplete the energy in your home or life. Buildings are built to coordinate with this mind set of energy flow.
The system itself takes some study to fully understand it. I found that I learned enough that but just eliminating unessential things in my home, the energy flows a lot easier. I just straightened up my desk and design table. I made room for me to work. Creativity starts when there is a free flow. This is Feng Shui in the simplest form.
When you align with wall, you get to see how you would align furniture and assessories in your home. This is just a basic chart. Keep in mind it also needs to incorporate your own elemental. Karen Kingston books are usually pretty good on this subject for further study.
I have the Osho Zen Deck and I layout my cards according to the Bagua. You can get the Osho Zen Deck also on an app. Not sure of the layouts they offer. I only have actual cards.
This is a free download where you could enter your birthdate info. You want to know what your day sign is. This company has a good training as well. There is a professional version 4.2 available too. I do not believe that not knowing your birth time would affect your day element.
Have fun and get back on any findings. Looking forward to your comments!
As October turns to November, thousands of Witches, Wiccans, Druids, and other Pagans across America, Canada, Europe, and elsewhere observe the sacred time of Samhain. Samhain is a festival of the Dead. Meaning “Summer’s End” and pronounced saah-win or saa-ween, Samhain is a celebration of the end of the harvest and the start of the coldest half of the year. For many practitioners, myself included, Samhain also is the beginning of the spiritual new year.
Originating in ancient Europe as a Celtic Fire festival, Samhain is now celebrated worldwide. The timing of contemporary Samhain celebrations varies according to spiritual tradition and geography. Many of us celebrate Samhain over the course of several days and nights, and these extended observances usually include a series of solo rites as well as ceremonies, feasts, and gatherings with family, friends, and spiritual community. In the northern hemisphere, many Pagans celebrate Samhain from sundown on October 31 through November 1. Others hold Samhain celebrations on the nearest weekend or on the Full or New Moon closest to this time. Some Pagans observe Samhain a bit later, or near November 6, to coincide more closely with the astronomical midpoint between Fall Equinox and Winter Solstice. Most Pagans in the southern hemisphere time their Samhain observances to coincide with the middle of their Autumn in late April and early May, rather than at the traditional European time of the holiday.
Samhain also has been known by other names. Some Celtic Wiccans and Druids call it Calan Gaeaf, Calan Gwaf, Kala-Goanv, or Nos Galan Gaeof. In Welsh, it is Nos Cyn Calan Gaual. It also is known as Oie Houney. A medieval book of tales, the Yellow Book of Lecan, reports that common folk called it the “Feast of Mongfind,” the legendary Witch-Queen who married a King of Tara in old Ireland. In the ancient Coligny Calendar, an engraved bronze dating from the first century C.E.and dug up in 1897 in France, Samhain is called Trinouxtion Samonii, or “Three Nights of the End of Summer.” Variant spellings of Samhain include Samain, Samuin, and Samhuinn.
With the growth and spread of Christianity as the dominant religion throughout Europe, Samhain time took on Christian names and guises. All Saints’ Day or All Hallows on November 1 commemorated Christian saints and martyrs. All Souls’ Day on November 2 was a remembrance for all souls of the dead. With the coming of Christian Spaniards to Mexico, the indigenous customs of honoring the dead at this time of year mixed with Roman Catholicism and gave birth to the Day of the Dead, Dia de los Muertos, in early November. Samhain shares the ancient spiritual practice of remembering and paying respects to the Dead with these related religious holidays of Christianity.
Halloween, short for All Hallow’s Eve, is celebrated on and around October 31. Although occurring at the same time of year and having roots in end-of-harvest celebrations of the ancient past, Halloween and Samhain are not the same, but two separate holidays that differ considerably in focus and practice. In contemporary America and elsewhere, Halloween is a secular folk holiday. Like its cousin, Thanksgiving, it is widely and publicly celebrated in homes, schools, and communities, large and small, by people of many paths, ethnic heritages, and worldviews. Furthermore, Halloween has evolved to be both a family-oriented children’s holiday as well as an occasion for those of all ages to creatively express themselves and engage in play in the realm of make-believe and fantasy through costumes, trick-or-treating, storytelling, play-acting, pranks, cathartic scary place visits, and parties.
In contrast, Samhain and its related Christian holiday counterparts continue to be religious in focus and spiritually observed by adherents. Although observances may include merry-making, the honoring of the Dead that is central to Samhain is a serious religious practice rather than a light-hearted make-believe re-enactment. Today’s Pagan Samhain rites, while somber, are benevolent, and, although centered on death, do not involve human or animal sacrifices. Most Samhain rituals are held in private rather than in public.
Samhain’s long association with death and the Dead reflects Nature’s rhythms. In many places, Samhain coincides with the end of the growing season. Vegetation dies back with killing frosts, and therefore, literally, death is in the air. This contributes to the ancient notion that at Samhain, the veil is thin between the world of the living and the realm of the Dead and this facilitates contact and communication. For those who have lost loved ones in the past year, Samhain rituals can be an opportunity to bring closure to grieving and to further adjust to their being in the Otherworld by spiritually communing with them.
There are many ways to celebrate Samhain. More info here and below:
Samhain Nature Walk. Take a meditative walk in a natural area near your home. Observe and contemplate the colors, aromas, sounds, and other sensations of the season. Experience yourself as part of the Circle of Life and reflect on death and rebirth as being an important part of Nature. If the location you visit permits, gather some natural objects and upon your return use them to adorn your home.
Seasonal Imagery. Decorate your home with Samhain seasonal symbols and the colors of orange and black. Place an Autumnal wreath on your front door. Create displays with pumpkins, cornstalks, gourds, acorns, and apples. Set candles in cauldrons.
Ancestors Altar. Gather photographs, heirlooms, and other mementos of deceased family, friends, and companion creatures. Arrange them on a table, dresser, or other surface, along with several votive candles. Kindle the candles in their memory as you call out their names and express well wishes. Thank them for being part of your life. Sit quietly and pay attention to what you experience. Note any messages you receive in your journal. This Ancestors Altar can be created just for Samhain or kept year round.
Feast of the Dead. Prepare a Samhain dinner. Include a place setting at your table or at a nearby altar for the Dead. Add an offering of a bit of each beverage being consumed to the cup at that place setting, and to the plate, add a bit of each food served. Invite your ancestors and other deceased loved ones to come and dine with you. To have this as a Samhain Dumb Supper experience, dine in silence. After the feast, place the contents of the plate and cup for the Dead outdoors in a natural location as an offering for the Dead.
Ancestor Stories. Learn about family history. Contact one or more older relatives and ask them to share memories of family members now dead. Record them in some way and later write accounts of what they share. Give thanks. Share what you learned and have written with another family member or friend. Add names of those you learned about and wish to honor to your Ancestors Altar.
Cemetery Visit. Visit and tend the gravesite of a loved one at a cemetery. Call to mind memories and consider ways the loved one continues to live on within you. Place an offering there such as fresh flowers, dried herbs, or a libation of water.
Reflections. Reflect on you and your life over the past year. Review journals, planners, photographs, blogs, and other notations you have created during the past year. Consider how you have grown, accomplishments, challenges, adventures, travels, and learnings. Meditate. Journal about your year in review, your meditation, and your reflections.
Renovate. Select an area of your home or life as a focus. Examine it. Re-organize it. Release what is no longer needed. Create a better pattern. Celebrate renewal and transformation.
Bonfire Magic. Kindle a bonfire outdoors when possible or kindle flames in a fireplace or a small cauldron. Write down an outmoded habit that you wish to end and cast it into the Samhain flames as you imagine release. Imagine yourself adopting a new, healthier way of being as you move around the fire clockwise.
Divinatory Guidance. Using Tarot, Runes, Scrying, or some other method of divination, seek and reflect on guidance for the year to come. Write a summary of your process and messages. Select something appropriate to act upon and do it.
Divine Invocations. Honor and call upon the Divine in one or more Sacred Forms associated with Samhain, such as the Crone Goddess and Horned God of Nature. Invite Them to aid you in your remembrance of the Dead and in your understanding of the cycle of life, death, and rebirth. If you have lost loved ones in the past year, ask these Divine Ones to comfort and support you.
Transforming Expressions. If you encounter distortions, misinformation, and/or false, negative stereotypes about Paganism and Samhain in the media, contact the source, express your concerns, and share accurate information. Help eradicate derogatory stereotyping with courteous, concise, and intelligent communications.
Community Connections. Connect with others. Join in a group ritual in your area. Organize a Samhain potluck in your home. Research old and contemporary Samhain customs in books, periodicals, on-line, and through communications with others. Exchange ideas, information, and celebration experiences. Regardless of whether you practice solo or with others, as part of your festivities, reflect for a time on being part of the vast network of those celebrating Samhain around the world.
Selena Fox is senior minister of Circle Sanctuary, an international Wiccan church and Pagan resource center headquartered in the rolling hills of southwestern Wisconsin, USA. Selena also is a psychotherapist, a minister active in interfaith endeavors, and a guest speaker at conferences, festivals, colleges and universities and other venues. Her writings have appeared in a variety of publications in-print and on-line. More info about her and her endeavors: www.selenafox.com.
I found this article that I have cited to be a very useful how to bit of info.I have used the process of autowriting for several years. I have not been able to receive messages audibly from spirit. I found that putting a pen to paper seemed to connect regularly for me. The messages are clear. I always ask for the highest and best purpose.
In the beginning I could not read what I wrote. So I asked spirit for me to keep my eyes open so I can reread the messages later on. Well I started to question message. Didn’t seem real. Then I just put the pen down and i started to scribble. I realized it doesn’t matter whether or not i can read it later. I got the message when i did. I rewrite later. Everyone is different. When I first started this work, I thought I wasn’t reaching spirit correctly. I wasn’t doing it psychically. But I was getting messages. Very important messages. This has helped me even more since my boys have past. I have been able to communicate with them.
This is very healing for me. It goes along with a lot of my journaling. I’ve looked back at many of my messages and it has made me smile what I’ve accomplished since writing. Try it and have fun. It is important to connect with your inner self. Take time for you. We all have the power to speak with our loved ones. They are all around us and would love to communicate with us. I went to a few mediums and one simply said do autowriting he has something personal he wants to tell just you. I started to trust the process at that time, more than ever.
Levesque, Angela. “Your Guide to Automatic Writing.” OMTimes Magazine, 23 Mar. 2014, omtimes.com/2014/03/sacred-scribe-guide-automatic-writing/.
The above chart is one of my favorite cross reference Chakra charts. Yes you can Google it like I did. As you look at this chart you can see what areas that you personally need to address. Sometimes it is easy as looking where and what part of your back hurts hurts!
Many charts only have 7 Chakras, however there are many more. The one above has 15 Chakras. There is a Higher Chakra which is your over soul along with the Lower Chakras which are centers of the Primal Instincts and Emotions. These are also what goes along with the root chakra, but more detailed.
This chart has the 7 Chakras, however adds the elements Earth, Water, Fire, Air, etc. This chart has Gemstones. if you look at the next few columns you see Deficient and Excessive, along with what color is associated with each for self treatment. The final column shows what you could feel like when you are balanced.
This Chart is another great cross reference charts that include planet metal,sound, angel, fragrance, incense, gemstones.
I have been saving charts over the years as I learn different tools for healing. Many I just searched and saved. But I put them together to make sense for me. As you start to gather your knowledge and information. You will start building your own toolbox of knowledge and wisdom. You will start seeing a puzzle start to form together. Not all of us are the same. Not all of us learn the same. Do what works for you. These are a few charts to start with.