Posted in Grieving Naturally, Overcoming Emotions

It’s MY TURN

Back on the 6th of September, I had celebrated my life on this earth for 67 years. I never hid the number from anyone. As time has passed, I learned many lessons. I noticed that some really are not repeating anymore. I celebrated those. I have hit the existing ones head on.

As I grow older I matured. my mind didn’t feel old, but my body reminded me. My body took the brunt end of my emotions through those lessons. The lesson that took the hardest hit at me was the loss of my two children. Wondering why I’m here and the two boys left at such an early age. My friend told me that my eyes looked vacant yestersday. This bothered me. Because I saw it in the photo myself.

Why me? That wasn’t the question. The creator doesn’t want a pity party! I took that lesson to task and asked the creator on the Harvest Moon. A time when the vail between the worlds is thin. I trust the creator, but doesn’t mean I have to like the answer. I try to understand it. The answer was that I fulfilled my purpose as a parent into ascending their spirtual growth to their perspective levels in the upper dimensions. They did their part in my lessons into ascending to my level of spirituality on earth. As I mature I may not have done so if they were not in my life to test me. This was an agreement on the other side between us. They were my teachers there and on earth.

Trying to understand this thought I remembered reading a meme a few months ago about how when you lose a child, that you are at a very high spiritual level at this point in time and closest to the creator. The grief is so gut wrenching that you have nothing left to lose. This also means that the greatest and strongest power is within us to create. To have endless flows of energy. But i couldn’t see it at the time. As the fog and shell shock of grief starts to wear off, you start to create , write, draw, design, stitch fheal and many other wonderful things. I’m finding a sense of peace that knowing my children are in good hands and they are serving their purpose. I know they are around me all the time.

Now it is my turn to pay attention to the path and the direction I am going. I am free to do this now. Just have to give myself the permission to do so. I saw after I got that message last night that I have some marching orders. I was set free, thekids are ok. Doesn’t mean I’ll ever not miss them, I certainly love them. It means that it is out of my hands. It is my turn to be healed and then to heal. To heal through my arts and through my gift of healing. My soul has been hungry for a long time. Grief has taken a good part of the past 7 years of my life between my two beautiful sons. Time to feed her and not my body.

Posted in motivation, Overcoming Emotions, Uncategorized

Unnecessary Anxiety

There is a hurricane coming! Meteorologist is in high gear on TV, and they are soooo excited! People all around are at the stores buying up all the water and supplies. Well, I can really freak out or not.  First of all, they have no clue what direction it is going. I am watching all the people panic. Many Floridians already know this. Some still panic.

I check to see if I had batteries and all the things you need for the go-bag. I got food. I filled the water bottles. Which I have not developed the list yet. It is Thursday, It is not coming until Monday and that is if it hits here. Well ran out of batteries, ordered from Amazon, here by tomorrow. The task is done.

Worry makes us old! There are so many times we waste so much time with unnecessary anxiety. Don’t get me wrong, I lived through 2 horrifying experiences in 2004 with 10 each without electric. Not to mention the level 5 coming at us 5 years ago that didn’t hit our area that bad. I don’t want to go through this again. Yes, I am nervous. But we have time. I have the stuff in the house.

It is not hitting to Sunday, Monday or maybe Tuesday. So how many days are we going to put our body into turmoil? We do this to ourselves, not just through hurricanes. Anxiety is so harmful to us. We don’t need a pill. We can do this!  It is important at this time to stop and pause, pace yourself, take a few deep breaths. Make your list. You just might be surprised that you already have most of the items and your go-to bag is full. If the hurricane doesn’t even come your way. You put yourself through an unnecessary unliving hell for nothing. Now Breathe!