This month is especially difficult for me because both my boy’s Angel Dates are in this month. My Heart has a hole in it where they used to be. I know they transitioned and are around me all the time. I talk and sing to them. I Reminiscence with them! I even get angry with them. I know that we all loved each other. I let them know how much their existence made a difference in my life and still does. I’m a better person for it.
I know God had a higher purpose for the both of them, and the lessons they gave me have brought my own soul vibration up to higher levels. I don’t believe I would have known how beautiful a mother’s love is. They both grew into wonderful young men. Proud of each of them in their own way. A mother’s love is unselfish. I had to learn about myself. I had to learn that they come first. I was a single mom and working full time wasn’t a choice it was a necessity. Every chance I had I spent time with them.
I am walking this path now. A good path. Last December I started taking care of my health instead of buying into the fear of the media. I feel good. I have more to go for my goal. Much of this was because I knew they were the strength the forged me through some really tough times. More people brought on, the more I found my soul appeared lighter. I didn’t want to bog my children down. I wanted their souls to soar and learn and play.
This does not mean I don’t have some bad days. But they appear to be a lot less now. It is a knowing that they are here, all around me that gets me through the day. This understanding didn’t just drop in my lap. I worked for it. I have a sense of peace now. It’s about finding balance!
Thank you Lisa! I saw this meme on my friend’s post and I know she’s having a blast uncluttering her home in order to sell. I reorganized my kitchen and livingroom this week and it has that just moved in (unpack) look!
I had someone help me out a bit, as I was trying to put this stuff in order. She asked how I have all that I do. Well I have had myself a job and a home for well over 40 years for starters. I didn’t lose my home and took care of things. So I’m not going to apologize for all that I have!
Now, after saying that. Do I need all this! There is just two of us. My books are my friends. Many are reference. So are all the papers! Yikes Now that I can actually see my books with the reorganizing, I have new stuff to start writing about.
The above meme is right we spent all those years of money, energy and time to clean up a mess. It is time to weed out what I don’t need. It is a toss up, after working hard to obtain what I did and then to wonder why?!? It is all inside us. There is no need to fill our selves with stuff anymore.
When I feel a sense of order on the inside as I unclutter. Then the world around me starts to unclutter, too!
We all have some rough days. Especially during this time. We can choose to get swallowed up in it or shift your mind set, your consciousness to helping others. There is no energy sitting in your anger, stewing over things you can not change.
Step out of yourself and see what is around you that you can change. If you are stuck inside, work the internet spreading positive vibes to everyone. When all is said and done. You feel so much better that you didn’t get caught up is somethings you know that wouldn’t turn out too well. Sometimes I will write out paragraphs of anger, and erase it because I know that the results would not be in my favor.
I still believe that there is a good inside everyone. Believe me I’ve been tested. Many may not deserve it. I’m a better person for it. I still Keep doing it. The respond in a negative way it is their karma not mine. I’m finding my soul being so much more at peace. Closer you move towards the light, the lights will shine brighter on you.
The above chart is one of my favorite cross reference Chakra charts. Yes you can Google it like I did. As you look at this chart you can see what areas that you personally need to address. Sometimes it is easy as looking where and what part of your back hurts hurts!
Many charts only have 7 Chakras, however there are many more. The one above has 15 Chakras. There is a Higher Chakra which is your over soul along with the Lower Chakras which are centers of the Primal Instincts and Emotions. These are also what goes along with the root chakra, but more detailed.
This chart has the 7 Chakras, however adds the elements Earth, Water, Fire, Air, etc. This chart has Gemstones. if you look at the next few columns you see Deficient and Excessive, along with what color is associated with each for self treatment. The final column shows what you could feel like when you are balanced.
This Chart is another great cross reference charts that include planet metal,sound, angel, fragrance, incense, gemstones.
I have been saving charts over the years as I learn different tools for healing. Many I just searched and saved. But I put them together to make sense for me. As you start to gather your knowledge and information. You will start building your own toolbox of knowledge and wisdom. You will start seeing a puzzle start to form together. Not all of us are the same. Not all of us learn the same. Do what works for you. These are a few charts to start with.
I spent many years staying in the house. I did not exactly not have a good excuse and I used them all. Mainly no access to a vehicle, because of my partner’s work. I had a horrible accident back in 2011 with a 18 wheeler. It has left me with a challenge to walk. Something happened…maybe a divine intervention. I don’t know. But it wasn’t good on his part but definately for me. He landed in the hospital. He’s doing a little better. But he can’t work. So guess who has to drive.
It was easy to stay in the house and have a pity party. But I went online and found things to do that I like. I went to a meditation group and joined a book club. I love it. I’m not done yet! I’m going to be able to start doing Reiki in at the meditation group. I know my son wanted to me to get out more and be independent. I really started to do that after he passed in January. But then got quite comfortable sitting in my spot in front of the TV. I need to stick with this. My soul has been crying out to meet new like minded people. To come alive again. I loved getting out.
I’ve very glad that D (my partner) is doing well by the day. But he can’t really go out and work yet. When or if he does. I made an agreement to use the car in the day and he can work at night. He likes waking up late and I’m a mornings. It is amazing how you are thrown road blocks and then when you take a minute you get to see how they were not at all meant to block you but to free you!
Back in about 2008, I started my Masters program in Strategic Leadership and Personal Development. I completed 3/4 of the program minus the internship. At this time my eldest son found he had brain cancer. Just couldn’t put two words together at the time. Years since, i wanted to finish my program. The school since closed and life just took me away to this past year where I lost my second son to sepsis.
I feel that the life experience that I had gone through these years certainly can be justified as an internship. I don’t think there is a more difficult road to follow. The loss of 2 children. My story, my strength, my work, my studying says it all. So this degree might have taken a round about direction. But I landed where I needed to be. Many parents are losing children more and more unfortunately. But my story is my story. It is something only to be experienced. These writings are the beginnings of my book. No one can tell me that I am wrong or right…once you lose someone, especially children. I am at a level in spirituality that I am ready to face whatever God is about to hand me. Because I have already survived the most unimaginable task of giving my children up to spirit. I got a message from spirit in meditation not to long ago. I was told that my children are in good hands and now it is my turn to heal and work my purpose.
Just when I think I have been through the worst, my life partner ended up emergency with Congested Heart Failure and Hypertension. He was in there for a week and now I’m here and have to face this. I felt myself getting soooo mad. How dare he. I was just beginning to feel a bit better. Then in this morning meditation, I realized it was me I am mad at. I need to be able to fulfill my purpose no matter what is thrown at me. All will be well. That insight was not an easy one to face. I’ve already been though enough. This has got to stop. But I saw, inspite of everything that goes on around me, I have to heal myself first. All else will heal by itself. Just by being.
I got my marching orders. I’ve always been a healer, and my path is about helping others. I just never got the clarification before hand about what I was helping others with. Leadership is about leading yourself first then others. The determination to do so comes from my inner being. My Masters Degree is complete! So it is! Next…
One thing you will come to know about me. Is that I will respect your opinion. But my pet peeve. Is when my idea is not respected in return. This is when I get a tad irritated. It is ok to have my opinion.
When someone questioned me, sometimes I would fluster and change my opinion in my early years. I don’t need to. I believe in the idea that we can heal ourselves is an idea that I have stuck by for many years. It is what I believe for me.
I bring forth ideas that I have tried or would like to try for towards a better healhy me. I am not telling anyone to ditch their doctor. You can do many of the these methods in conjunction with having doctor. Like deep breathing. What I would like for you to understand. Many times you can try natural remedies before you rush to take medications. Grief is not a mental illness. It is a natural process we go through when we lose someone. Why would they prescribe a med for this?
I live in a 55+ state of Florida. If you go into the doctor, you will see people carrying in a Walmart bag full of medications they take. Many times there are more than 3 for each body party they are hurting. I just ask you to question this. Why need 3 -5 pills for one modalady? Really? All the effects of one lead to more ailments and more pills which lead to effects. Is this what you want?
Did you realize that if you want to take a vitamin that you are unsure of, you can check with your pharmacist. They will check it out and print out any conflicts. Usually vitamins don’t have many, but they can. So wise to check. Just to be sure.
Because I choose alternative ways of healing, doesn’t mean I don’t get sick. What I do, is listen to my body. I know when I’ve done too much of one thing, I pull my self back and get back on my program. I have to take responsibility for my own health, so how I do it is my choice and doesn’t mean It’s wrong. I find when I start to get myself off sugar, and any junk food. Start to eat well. I do feel wonderful. My arthritis lets up, I’m not in pain. Many other changes start to happen that feel great! The magic happens in this moment! What are you going to try that is new this week to take care of yourself?
I can’t begin to tell you how many times I have questioned myself. What is my calling?
I have been searching and researching since I was a little girl. There was something in me that felt that I did not fit into the box of the big 3 major religions. I am a rebel from right out of the gate. Being a rebel isn’t always a bad thing. Most of the trouble I’d get myself in, is with my mouth. Always inquisitive! Putting the pieces of the puzzle together and possibly take that path. I took risks and I got burned and more often I succeeded. I never gave up searching. The calling was always strong.
My research took me to the eastern philosophies. I learned about energy and became a Reiki Master\Teacher. I learned many other types of healing. I knew myself better, that i could not remember all those terms in main stream medicine. Nor Eastern for that fact! I felt that I was being called to heal. Researching western mysticism of Kabbalah led me to another path. There is a similarity between the healing that and the chakra system. The energy centers are just called something different. Both systems are complex as you get more advanced, yet fascinating!
When you start to compare various philosophies, you will find that there is a common thread and that is called Love. At this point no matter what direction that was chosen, I couldn’t go wrong as long as it came from a place of love. When I would meditate I would get some insightful messages. I’d get you are going to do this or that, but not how to do it. This left me frustrated and led me to the question…what next.
I’ve been journaling for several years and wrote these messages down. So I started a list of what I liked working on. I had 25 years of journals to choose from. Went to several seminars. Had such a zest to learn more. It was never enough to fill some void that I had to fulfill a calling. I never could quite put my finger on exactly.
Then in 2012 I lost my son older son to Brain Cancer. It left me numb for several years. Didn’t do any healing and especially not on myself. I ate through my grief. Just I felt I was coming out of the fog, My younger and only son was taken from me. I have nothing left to lose. My heart is broken. So I thought. I started doing what always made me feel good. I wrote. I joined groups of other parents who lost children. Having lost one son already and time has passed. I felt that I can be of service to others. I also wanted to help others with coping with grief with out the help of meds. Working with a do it yourself method when going through the worst moments. So combining the my energy healing background and my experience I took to writing this blog. Writing gives me a purpose and and reason to share and be of service to others.
The blog started this way but also has evolved to helping anyone who felt that wanted to heal look at healing themselves. Not just people grieving for children either. I’m not a doctor. I do have to say check with your doctor before trying any form of healing. But I think you don’t need permission to take deep breaths. I have tried several of the different methods that I have shared. Many times I haven’t.
Would love to hear from you on your experience. Many times when we go through difficult times. It appears we can not get out of our own way. Look through some old posts and try something different. One way doesn’t work for all. Sometimes I go back myself and look, because I need a reminder. I really appreciate all of you that have started following me and would love to hear from you! Do you know what your calling is?
This life… is your movie, You have choices to make for you and for no one else. Like the above meme states we have to accept the consequences for every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime. Taking responsibility is not always easy. But it is very healing. Because you get to see how much power you really do have within yourself. You can choose to have a roll on how it plays out for you.
Someone I know, gave me some bad news that they thought could happen if things don’t change and I don’t take action. So my thinking started to go on a whirlwind downhill. I’ve been upset and miserable because of this for several days. Then I realized that is my story not anyone elses. I awakened with the feeling that I can change this. So I kept repeating my favorite saying. Everything will be ok. I kept doing this and realized that the energy shifted. I was not miserable. We were joking and things started to look uplifting around me. I felt good things are coming my way.
When we get flustered, we tend to seek outside of ourselves to see what someone else may have to offer on the topic. But ultimately it is up to us. We take what we need and leave the rest. Ultimately the choice is ours and how we react or act. Sometimes we are dealt some really rough issues. Sometimes too many at once. However, this is the time to take to go within and meditate. Take a deep breath, and see what advice spirit has in store for you. You might be surprised. If you are headed down a path that starts to appear just not right…turn around and run.
Years ago I was told by an elder that I was a very strong person. During these times when I feel like I’m drowning, I tend to reach up to a sinking ship, wondering why they can’t save me. In many instances, I’ve been the one pulling them up by the boot straps anyway! This is the time that I need to pull up my big girl pants and walk to shore. Because I am actually in shallow water all that time. I can count on me like I always have and get on with life.
Note: Rely on yourself and your own creator every time you are confronted with a path that was not meant for you.