Posted in Chaya's Journey, Energy Healing, Grieving Naturally, Insights, Overcoming Emotions

To my Angels in Heaven

This month is especially difficult for me because both my boy’s Angel Dates are in this month. My Heart has a hole in it where they used to be. I know they transitioned and are around me all the time. I talk and sing to them. I Reminiscence with them! I even get angry with them. I know that we all loved each other. I let them know how much their existence made a difference in my life and still does. I’m a better person for it.

I know God had a higher purpose for the both of them, and the lessons they gave me have brought my own soul vibration up to higher levels. I don’t believe I would have known how beautiful a mother’s love is. They both grew into wonderful young men. Proud of each of them in their own way. A mother’s love is unselfish. I had to learn about myself. I had to learn that they come first. I was a single mom and working full time wasn’t a choice it was a necessity. Every chance I had I spent time with them.

I am walking this path now. A good path. Last December I started taking care of my health instead of buying into the fear of the media. I feel good. I have more to go for my goal. Much of this was because I knew they were the strength the forged me through some really tough times. More people brought on, the more I found my soul appeared lighter. I didn’t want to bog my children down. I wanted their souls to soar and learn and play.

This does not mean I don’t have some bad days. But they appear to be a lot less now. It is a knowing that they are here, all around me that gets me through the day. This understanding didn’t just drop in my lap. I worked for it. I have a sense of peace now. It’s about finding balance!

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Posted in Chaya's Journey, Feng Shui, motivation

Where did it all come from!

Thank you Lisa! I saw this meme on my friend’s post and I know she’s having a blast uncluttering her home in order to sell. I reorganized my kitchen and livingroom this week and it has that just moved in (unpack) look!

I had someone help me out a bit, as I was trying to put this stuff in order. She asked how I have all that I do. Well I have had myself a job and a home for well over 40 years for starters. I didn’t lose my home and took care of things. So I’m not going to apologize for all that I have!

Now, after saying that. Do I need all this! There is just two of us. My books are my friends. Many are reference. So are all the papers! Yikes Now that I can actually see my books with the reorganizing, I have new stuff to start writing about.

The above meme is right we spent all those years of money, energy and time to clean up a mess. It is time to weed out what I don’t need. It is a toss up, after working hard to obtain what I did and then to wonder why?!? It is all inside us. There is no need to fill our selves with stuff anymore.

When I feel a sense of order on the inside as I unclutter. Then the world around me starts to unclutter, too!

Posted in Chaya's Journey, Insights

Spiritual Freedom

Good Morning, I was on a zoom meeting with some good people and we were talking about spiritual freedom. What does it mean to me. It is walking a path where I can co-creator with the highest and best. It doesn’t matter what you call this energy. Just as much as it doesn’t matter what anyone else does. Focusing on one’s inner self is what brings you closer to a place of peace. Doesn’t matter if I call the energy God, Goddess, Jesus, Buddah, Allah, He, She, Father Sky, Mother Earth or Saint Whatever!.

Many times I would get caught up in the semantics on what to call this energy. Realizing what really matters, is that I trust that it is this wonderful energy is working with me as I walk on my path. That energy is a part of the collective consciousness. So it can be called anything. Have I questioned it? Of course I have! I’ve had some rough roads through out this life time. Yes, I have had some decades to find this out. I knew I wasn’t alone. Everything ultimately turns out alright.

There are days I am right on target and sometimes not. It is important that to spend time during both circumstances speaking to spirit, so stand in gratitude. Honoring the time spent with me, in order to move forward. Building this trust helps when in middle of rough times that I am indeed not alone.

Posted in Chaya's Journey, Energy Healing, Overcoming Emotions

Believe the Good!

We all have some rough days. Especially during this time. We can choose to get swallowed up in it or shift your mind set, your consciousness to helping others. There is no energy sitting in your anger, stewing over things you can not change.

Step out of yourself and see what is around you that you can change. If you are stuck inside, work the internet spreading positive vibes to everyone. When all is said and done. You feel so much better that you didn’t get caught up is somethings you know that wouldn’t turn out too well. Sometimes I will write out paragraphs of anger, and erase it because I know that the results would not be in my favor.

I still believe that there is a good inside everyone. Believe me I’ve been tested. Many may not deserve it. I’m a better person for it. I still Keep doing it. The respond in a negative way it is their karma not mine. I’m finding my soul being so much more at peace. Closer you move towards the light, the lights will shine brighter on you.

Posted in Chaya's Journey, Self Determination

Find strength and stillness inside that storm

It is so important during these difficult times to look within yourself and find the strength and stillness and be the eye inside that storm. Because we are co-creator with spirit. Spirit just might be able to clue us in if we take time to listen.

I put this meme up on my computer wallpaper as a constant reminder. A reminder that everything around us, that includes politics, family dynamics and dysfunction, is just that around us. It is not happening to us. I am not responsible, if someone else is having a bad hair day. What I am responsible for is how I react to it.

Take that good deep breath and think before you respond.

Posted in Chaya's Journey

Happy Birthday to me! (I gifted myself with good health!)

Hello my friends. It has been a long time since I have posted. I have been on my own little journey. Little did I know what 2020 was ringing in for all of us! Back in December I went to my doctor only to end up with the Flu. Turns out he had it. It lasted about 3 weeks. I lost a bit of weight and decided to take charge of my health at that time.

I used this time in hybernation to my best advantage. I first made a pact with myself not to fall into the fear. Shut off the news. I did a lot of reading, a lot of crafting and decided to do a low carb food plan and do intermittent fasting. During this time I started to see results. I brought my diabetic A1C from 7.1 (December results) to now as of this past Thursday to 5.9% I lost 40 lbs and 30 inches all around. I actually lost 67 lbs if I count my worst weight (my doctor mentioned to count that because our cell memory does!)

What I found was when you start losing weight you start to shed layers of protection that you were covering up over the years. I developed a team. I had my endrocronologist and my therapist. I worked on my inner self to shed the years of distructive patterns.

There is a sense of grief when you start to lose weight. One loses much baggage at this point, not just fat. I lost all those stories I decided to hold onto. You know the ones. The ones we created when we ate another morsel of food through emotion. How terrible this and that are or how this one did this and that too us. Not to leave out our family members.

What I have gained is a sense of clarity. I noticed my gifts have gotten stronger. My intuition did not feel cloudy anymore. My healing energy felt great! Started working with it more.

I came to this computer several times and wanted to type. But, no not yet. I am different. I have lost the motivation over the years. Much of it was due to the loss of my children. Junk food was my drug of choice when I couldn’t cope with the idea that I lost both my sons. I know they are on either side of me and ready to go to task with me in what ever it is I decide to do. They are my strength when I feel that I can not make it another day.

My spirituality was always strong. But when you lose your children. It does challenge you big time. I have been helping other parents. There is no right or wrong when it you are there for someone. Just being there, you become a gift to each other. Unfortunately there is always a parent that lost a child. It is hard to navigate oneself through the emotions during the intial time frame of loss.

My head is not in the sand. I know what is going on, however, I am not giving power to the dark side. I’m not taking political sides. We are grieving the way we use to live. What we used to say and how we said it. This is not easy. But be kind to yourself.

I’m on the Creator’s side! I am holding the light for many to see. I turned 68 on September 6. 68 = 14 = 1 + 4 = 5. The number 5 is about change. That is what I am about. We are human. But we can catch ourselves when we see our selves going in the wrong direction. We do have choices. Remember the universe always agrees with us! If we say that everything is going bad. You will be right. However, if you ssay everything will be ok. You will be right again. The outcome is your choice.

I made some good choices this past year and I’m going to continue to keep making my life better. It just feels great! Come join me. Hugs

Posted in Chaya's Journey, Grieving Naturally, Uncategorized

I miss you, Brett

December 17, 1986 to December 5, 2012

There have been 7 years since you have passed. Not a day goes by when I don’t think about you. I miss you so much. I know you are watching over us. You had a heart of gold. You were a great dad! Always a good kid and joking and very loving! You now have your brother in heaven to keep you company and causing mischief! You are gone but never forgotten my dear son.

Posted in Chaya's Journey, Insights, Self Determination

The Self is Dangerous

My instinct was to change the gender on the above quote. But then it wouldn’t be a quote!

It has been a month now since just one more friend left me. This one didn’t like my way of thinking after taking years and many hours of my time, that I know that we both enjoyed. We supported each other, checked in on each other and in one night. it was a two way street. Then poof she flipped a switch out of no where. It certainly something that had nothing to do with me. People can certainly take time in life to retrospect, but no need to try destroy people in order to push them away. In the past I would have owned what is not mine. But I can see in this year along. I so clearly see this is not my circus. I sending only healing light her way.

Since I was a little girl, I never really felt I fit in with the regiment of religion or groups. I seemed to have run into the types that love to want to control. When they realize they can’t… they go in a major destruction mode. I’ve seen this pattern. I may fall a little bit, because I didn’t realize what hit me! I get up fast and I get stronger! There is always the person that said I didn’t get up fast enough. I have strong faith and there was always an instictual twinge within me saying….Nah! I always beat to my own drum. Everytime I go against my grain and try to fit in, I am the one that pays the price. As I got older, I really get tired of the trying. It is about taking advantage of my kindness…then using it against me. Some said along the way if they were me they would do it better. But guess what they are not me and it did what works for me. May not get done as fast as one would like. The end result was the main thing.

This doesn’t mean that I should isolate, or be mean to people. It means spend more quality time with me. Reflect, speak and listen to spirt. As I keep speaking my truth, I step into my truth. All the things people wanted of me, droped by your wayside, it simply didn’t fit! Just maybe all those years I’ve been feeding my emotions so I can fit in places that I really didn’t want to be. Did society really require my attendance? I just didn’t need to be there. Each second, moment and day is a new beginning to start fresh. If by me living by my own integrity is shining my light to bright. So be it.

Posted in Chaya's Journey, Grieving Naturally

Grief: Is your time alone and it is ok!

Over the recent years, I have found that grief has many faces. People who lost a child is not the same as someone who lost a parent or spouse. Now, this does not mean that it is any less significant. It is different. I spent many hours reading and in groups, trying to make sense of it, if you can at all.

Then I realized that people who have lost children have different types of experiences as well. I have not lost a child at birth, through an accident, or very super young. My heart goes out to them. But when you have a child that is in his 20’s, 30’s or more. You got to know them. You raised them. You got to watch them grow, all their firsts, all the times you kissed their wounds, held them and comforted them, watch them in their accomplishments and made you proud. It is just different!

But understand when you tell me how all your children are around you. When you know your kids are going to be there at the holidays, the phone calls have stopped. All the commercials are on TV and you realize, oh yes I don’t have to get anything. You can’t be afraid to talk to someone, but be sensitive if they are having a hard day. Don’t take it personally. You find you are all alone a lot…no matter who is around you.

If that is not hard enough. Then you lose both your children. I don’t want you to understand. But sometimes I don’t want to suck it up either. Move on? Really? I hope you never get to know what it is like to lose lose a child or two. Grief is a process. it is not a mental illness. You have to walk through it. In your time not everyone elses. Not all days are bad. When you go with the flow and acknowelege that..the feelings are just part of loss. Allow yourself to be with your broken heart. You will always be ok! I promise you. As time moves on, I have more good days than not. There are only 24 hours in a day and tomorrow will be better!