I am not going to apologize for saying Happy Holidays, because I like to include everyone. There are so many different holidays during this winter season. People already feel separate and not included. This time of year is hard for many people. Why not make someone feel that they were truly thought of.
My Halloween Cat! She is about 8 weeks old. That works out around Halloween. I found her 2 weeks ago under my house, crying and hungry and cold. No other cats around her We brought her in the house and she is now ours.
She’s making my heart sign during this difficult time of year for me.
I can go for plenty of days and not a darn thing gets done. So unproductive of me. I took the time this morning to go within and meditate. A good amount of time. What a difference. I had more energy and a better attitude. I have said to myself no it doesn’t… but I feel so much better. I feel connected. I want to do things. I have a clearer vision.
When I first meditated I had all these questions. First, am I doing it right? Well just close your eyes and take a deep breath and you’re on your way. It isn’t rocket science. I thought it was years back. Do I need a mantra? Yes, you do if you are doing transcendental meditation. There was someone who told me I was doing it wrong because I didn’t do it their way. I am so done with that way of thinking! I do it my way!
I was in a class where everyone sat on the floor so , I thought I couldn’t meditate if I couldn’t do that and sit crosslegged! I can’t do that! So I asked for a chair. When I am home I just lay down in bed. Sit down at the base of tree! Be consistent in doing meditation. No matter how you choose to practice. I feel the key was just to do it. Clear your mind. Chanting a sound…this will distract you from all the mind chatter. Try just sounding out the vowels a,e,i,o and u. they will also clear your chakras. Take in some good deep breaths and that is all there is to it. Try to journal your thoughts afterward. It helps!
December 17, 1986 to December 5, 2012
There have been 7 years since you have passed. Not a day goes by when I don’t think about you. I miss you so much. I know you are watching over us. You had a heart of gold. You were a great dad! Always a good kid and joking and very loving! You now have your brother in heaven to keep you company and causing mischief! You are gone but never forgotten my dear son.
My instinct was to change the gender on the above quote. But then it wouldn’t be a quote!
It has been a month now since just one more friend left me. This one didn’t like my way of thinking after taking years and many hours of my time, that I know that we both enjoyed. We supported each other, checked in on each other and in one night. it was a two way street. Then poof she flipped a switch out of no where. It certainly something that had nothing to do with me. People can certainly take time in life to retrospect, but no need to try destroy people in order to push them away. In the past I would have owned what is not mine. But I can see in this year along. I so clearly see this is not my circus. I sending only healing light her way.
Since I was a little girl, I never really felt I fit in with the regiment of religion or groups. I seemed to have run into the types that love to want to control. When they realize they can’t… they go in a major destruction mode. I’ve seen this pattern. I may fall a little bit, because I didn’t realize what hit me! I get up fast and I get stronger! There is always the person that said I didn’t get up fast enough. I have strong faith and there was always an instictual twinge within me saying….Nah! I always beat to my own drum. Everytime I go against my grain and try to fit in, I am the one that pays the price. As I got older, I really get tired of the trying. It is about taking advantage of my kindness…then using it against me. Some said along the way if they were me they would do it better. But guess what they are not me and it did what works for me. May not get done as fast as one would like. The end result was the main thing.
This doesn’t mean that I should isolate, or be mean to people. It means spend more quality time with me. Reflect, speak and listen to spirt. As I keep speaking my truth, I step into my truth. All the things people wanted of me, droped by your wayside, it simply didn’t fit! Just maybe all those years I’ve been feeding my emotions so I can fit in places that I really didn’t want to be. Did society really require my attendance? I just didn’t need to be there. Each second, moment and day is a new beginning to start fresh. If by me living by my own integrity is shining my light to bright. So be it.