I can’t begin to tell you how many times I have questioned myself. What is my calling?
I have been searching and researching since I was a little girl. There was something in me that felt that I did not fit into the box of the big 3 major religions. I am a rebel from right out of the gate. Being a rebel isn’t always a bad thing. Most of the trouble I’d get myself in, is with my mouth. Always inquisitive! Putting the pieces of the puzzle together and possibly take that path. I took risks and I got burned and more often I succeeded. I never gave up searching. The calling was always strong.
My research took me to the eastern philosophies. I learned about energy and became a Reiki Master\Teacher. I learned many other types of healing. I knew myself better, that i could not remember all those terms in main stream medicine. Nor Eastern for that fact! I felt that I was being called to heal. Researching western mysticism of Kabbalah led me to another path. There is a similarity between the healing that and the chakra system. The energy centers are just called something different. Both systems are complex as you get more advanced, yet fascinating!
When you start to compare various philosophies, you will find that there is a common thread and that is called Love. At this point no matter what direction that was chosen, I couldn’t go wrong as long as it came from a place of love. When I would meditate I would get some insightful messages. I’d get you are going to do this or that, but not how to do it. This left me frustrated and led me to the question…what next.
I’ve been journaling for several years and wrote these messages down. So I started a list of what I liked working on. I had 25 years of journals to choose from. Went to several seminars. Had such a zest to learn more. It was never enough to fill some void that I had to fulfill a calling. I never could quite put my finger on exactly.
Then in 2012 I lost my son older son to Brain Cancer. It left me numb for several years. Didn’t do any healing and especially not on myself. I ate through my grief. Just I felt I was coming out of the fog, My younger and only son was taken from me. I have nothing left to lose. My heart is broken. So I thought. I started doing what always made me feel good. I wrote. I joined groups of other parents who lost children. Having lost one son already and time has passed. I felt that I can be of service to others. I also wanted to help others with coping with grief with out the help of meds. Working with a do it yourself method when going through the worst moments. So combining the my energy healing background and my experience I took to writing this blog. Writing gives me a purpose and and reason to share and be of service to others.
The blog started this way but also has evolved to helping anyone who felt that wanted to heal look at healing themselves. Not just people grieving for children either. I’m not a doctor. I do have to say check with your doctor before trying any form of healing. But I think you don’t need permission to take deep breaths. I have tried several of the different methods that I have shared. Many times I haven’t.
Would love to hear from you on your experience. Many times when we go through difficult times. It appears we can not get out of our own way. Look through some old posts and try something different. One way doesn’t work for all. Sometimes I go back myself and look, because I need a reminder. I really appreciate all of you that have started following me and would love to hear from you! Do you know what your calling is?