Posted in Uncategorized

If it is going to be, it is up to me!

So many people doubted that I would ever have done half of what I have proven that I could do. When they got done with their judgment of me, I would continue on my own downward spiral of self-pity. Even though On the outside, I would be strong. Then I realized how many would still be in bed after the events that I have endured. There haven’t been too many types of trauma that have not found its way to challenge me. Always end up on my two feet.

The first day of the year I was faced with the news of my son’s passing. I made a decision at that moment that I was going to choose to live. I spent 6 years stuffing my grief and sorrows with food. I don’t drink or drug. I started taking care of myself but like so many other times I have put a roadblock up. Many times it is not me. It is people or circumstances.

Death of a child is not insignificant by any means. But the choice to self-sabotage is. All these issues become overwhelming and trying to be strong. I stuff my feelings. Every time, there is an excuse and I’m the one who pays dearly. Before my son got sick this year at end of November. I made a decision that I had to forgive myself for all that happened around my first son’s death. Somethings were just out of my control. His Angel date is on the 5th of December. I didn’t want to be sad anymore and wanted to celebrate his life. I wanted to enjoy the holidays this year.

No sooner did I make this statement when I heard my second son took ill. I forgot all the promises I made to myself and my sugar numbers went off the charts. My younger son did not want me to tell anyone about his illness. I felt I was all alone on this one. He didn’t answer phones. It wasn’t an easy time. It was stressful. This lasted a month of not taking care of me in spite of what was going on. I worked so hard on my food plan before this.

The day I had to fly up to see my son, I had plenty of time to talk to me. I decided that I was not going to spend a lot of years again grieving and sabotaging myself. I was going to live. When I got up to Connecticut, I walked more during that time and at the cemetery and walking up and down steps, it became the beginning of my exercise program. I actually felt better. I didn’t eat the hoards of food that was sent to the house.

This past month I had my moments that I was sad. I know that God/Spirit has my boys and they are in good hands, out of pain and full of love. They want me to be happy and healthy. They must have served their purpose. I was in my own way. I know I am not alone on this journey. This is why I’m writing this. I am living for me. When I have a difficult time doing it for me I will do it for the kids. Regardless, If I am going to heal it is up to me and nobody else.

I have actually felt a shift in how I feel and act. I am finding I am not as quick to go off my food plan. I’m exercising. Even if it is a little bit. My heart is light instead of heavy. I talk to the kids all the time. I know they are around and intuitively, I feel them around. I know it is my turn and I have a lot of work to do.

Besides all my books, I have 25 years of journals that I have written. I have started looking at all the messages that I have received when I have channeled. This is only the beginning for me. This is my first time having a blog. But this is helping me. I intend as time goes on I will be there for you too. Hugs from me!

Posted in Energy Healing, healthy eating, Wisdom

Finding Balance

After much study in different philosophies, I find the key to most things is finding your balance. I have recently got frustrated with much news because it is either black or white. No middle ground. Along with many other subjects. Teach yourself how to think critically, not to accept all that you hear.

Back in the 80’s, I was introduced to Macrobiotics. I learned the thought about finding balance with the foods. How you can balance your body following this process. I, unfortunately, never followed through on this. But always held onto the understanding of balance close to my heart.

I had a philosophy teacher that also told me that anything in fanaticism is brain dead. I found that to be true. Sometimes you have to be a little fanatic as you learn what you need. But then, it is important to pull back the reins and come to your center.

This mindset can help you throughout most of your life. Whether you are finding a friend or a guru. Someone starts telling you that you can’t see certain people, read things and promises you the world or a morsel of food…Run.

Posted in Energy Healing

Where ever the mind goes the energy flows!

I found when I wake up in the morning. I start off my day with positive thoughts I can keep my attention focused. I have to keep busy. Timing now is essential, because If I allow myself to get caught up in grief. I get nothing done. It is ok to reflect. But I’m choosing to move forward. I’m a good one for a good pity party.

I am reflecting on a time when things worked well in my life. I was religious (only thing I’m religious about) is keeping a planner. Because when you write it down and you check it off you create energy. When you don’t check it off you deplete energy.

That can start off a whole new task for me though. Which size planner do I want? Will it fit in my pocketbook? Should I put it on my phone, or write it down. I decided to get a week at a time calendar with all the planets on it. Because I want to learn astrology this year. Then I keep a piece of paper in there with my to-do list. This works, no fuss!!

I look at it every day to see what I have planned. It is a great way to start my day. I keep it in front of me (fits in the pocketbook) and it keeps me focused, refocused, focused again! How do you keep the attention focused?

Posted in Energy Healing, Uncategorized

Heal thyself

As I move forward with this blog. I want you to know that I have collected several neat little sayings, articles and such that I will share with you. Have no clue where I got them from. But thank you to whoever took the time to post them at the appropriate time. I pass them onto you and take no claims. I added a category called Charts so that you can refer back to them as you walk your own journey.  I needed this one today to remind me that I do indeed have to heal myself first. What have you done to help yourself today?

Posted in Energy Healing, Uncategorized, Wisdom

All is one!

You are no different than I. I may believe in one thing, you another. But there is only one source, creator. I choose to look at what unites us, not separates.

I have learned different types of thoughts and philosophies along the way in my journey. What I found is that the languaging is what separates us. So many instances we are saying the same things. But because I may not say it the same way that you do, doesn’t mean that I’m coming from an evil source, or am not from the light.

I am a healer. I am a Reiki Healer. I only work with the highest and best purpose. I have been trained in other forms of healing and techniques. All works in unison.

Right now I am working at getting myself back on the mends. Losing two children to illness is not an easy task to crawl out of. I am. I feel the calling to get back to healing. When I know I will let you know.

Posted in healthy eating, Uncategorized

If you don’t name a disease, you don’t have to claim it!!!!!!!!!!

I have low blood sugar. I choose to look at it this way. I am trying my darnest not to call it Diabetes. I’m choosing to take care of my health. This blog is my journey to living!

I went to a training yesterday, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I recognize that I have to take care of myself, however, to be told I have to go to all these lists of doctors that will add to the disease. Yes, I will keep an eye on my eyes and not walk barefoot. That will be rough. I’m always walking barefoot! I’ll Watch for infections. This is something you should do anyway.

Right now I’m trying my best to keep my blood sugar down by healthy eating and living. When I looked into the book they gave me that listed all the drugs that I could possibly take. It cured me of putting a piece of cake in my mouth. The side effects were downright scary. Starting with weight gain. Stomach problems. No wonder you lose weight on that one. It gives you stomach problems.

My biggest hurdle is not eating emotionally. Having been only 1 month since my son passed. Gives me a justified reason for some good chocolate. However, learning how to live is now more about having emotions and not punishing my self in the process. I’m open to any insight!!!!